Emily Maynard (she/her) is a licensed therapist in California. She grew up at the intersection of Evangelical and Fundamentalist Christianity, and now she specializes in helping people heal from religious trauma. She loves helping smart, sensitive people embody new stories. You can find Emily on Instagram at @emilymaynardlmft and on her website https://emilymaynardtherapy.com/. 

In this conversation, Kari and Emily discuss the roots of purity culture, the challenges of dating after deconstructing purity culture, and how to love your body and overcome shame. They also explore the topic of raising children outside of purity culture and provide resources for further education and support. 

Takeaways

Purity culture is a comprehensive system that teaches complete sexual abstinence until marriage and often includes emotional purity, modesty, and strict courtship practices.

Purity culture is rooted in patriarchy and the control of women's bodies, and it can have harmful effects on both men and women.

Dating after deconstructing purity culture requires education, deconstructing the idea of 'the one,' and learning how to show up authentically in relationships.

Loving your body and overcoming shame involves a process of education, reflection, community, and self-compassion.

Raising children outside of purity culture involves doing your own work, educating yourself and your children about healthy sexuality, and creating an open and informed environment for discussions about consent, boundaries, and relationships. Teach children about autonomy and body positivity from an early age, encouraging them to ask for consent and respect their own boundaries.

Create a no-shame experience of sexuality by providing access to less exploitative images and promoting open conversations about bodies and sexuality.

Consciously work on developing relationship skills, including communication, conflict resolution, and the ability to show up as yourself.

Build meaningful relationships by embracing genuine communication, conflict resolution, and personal growth.

Mentioned in this episode:

Emily’s first appearance on Your Friend The Therapist

#ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How To Find Healing by Emily Joy Allison

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, PhD

Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori A. Brotto, PhD

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern

https://www.scarleteen.com/

Check out Emily's recommended book list: https://emilymaynardtherapy.com/book-list 

Your Friend, The Therapist is hosted and produced by Kari Fillian. You can follow the show on Instagram at @yourfriendthetherapistpod. Subscribe to my Substack for more musings: https://yourfriendthetherapist.substack.com/

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