Are you struggling with a fear of death or constantly thinking about your own mortality? In this episode of The Aspiring Psychologist Podcast, Clinical Psychologist Dr Marianne Trent explores death anxiety also known as thanatophobia and why some people experience an intense fear of dying or non-existence.

We discuss how childhood experiences, trauma, attachment, and even parenting styles can contribute to anxiety around death. You'll also learn about how therapy can help, including evidence-based approaches like Terror Management Theory, Existential Therapy, and Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT).

Whether you’re a mental health professional, a student, or someone experiencing these fears yourself, this episode offers practical insight, psychological understanding, and compassionate support for navigating fear of death. #deathanxiety #thanatophobia

Highlights

• 00:00 – Introduction: Why talk about death anxiety?
• 02:03 – What is death anxiety, and how does it present?
• 04:21 – Childhood experiences and early realisations of mortality
• 07:30 – The connection between trauma and fear of death
• 09:52 – Avoidance behaviours and obsessive checking
• 11:40 – Personal reflections: losing loved ones at a young age
• 13:55 – Parenting styles and how they shape our relationship with death
• 16:50 – Death anxiety in OCD, health anxiety, and phobias
• 19:18 – Cultural influences and how we learn to fear death
• 21:00 – When death anxiety spikes: ageing, parenthood, and illness
• 23:43 – The idea of legacy: wanting to leave something behind
• 26:04 – What helps? An overview of therapeutic approaches
• 28:30 – How Compassion-Focused Therapy can soothe existential fear
• 30:14 – What not to say to someone experiencing death anxiety
• 32:10 – Supporting yourself and others through gentle curiosity
• 34:00 – Wrapping up: You’re not alone in feeling this way

📚 Book Titles Mentioned and Associated Authors

• The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins https://amzn.to/3GCq2aU (Referenced while discussing the newest prequel focusing on Haymitch. https://amzn.to/44rcDvG)
• The Grief Collective – by Dr Marianne Trent https://amzn.to/40dLqtH
• Love’s Executioner – Irvin D. Yalom https://amzn.to/3GwE5io (Described as formative reading during clinical training.)
• Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death – Irvin D. Yalom https://amzn.to/3Ik7igW (Explicitly named as relevant to death anxiety.)
• A Matter of Death and Life – Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom https://amzn.to/4kviGnq
• The Gift Of Therapy - Irvin Yalom https://amzn.to/4lRbenX Mentioned in relation to Yalom’s reflections after his wife’s passing.)

Links:Dr Marianne Trent (00:00 ):

What if I told you that your fear of death might be quietly shaping your choices, your relationships, even your worldview? In today's episode, we are diving into the psychology of death, anxiety, what it is, how often it crops up, and what happens when it starts to interfere with daily life. Whether you've ever had a passing fear of dying or you find yourself avoiding the topic completely, you're not alone. And the good news, there are always ways to find more peace and to work through this and stick around right to the end because we are sharing a top tip for thinking about your own mortality and helping you to have more control. Hope you find it super useful. If you do, please like and subscribe for more.

(00:46 ):

Hi, welcome along to the Aspiring Psychologist Podcast. I am Dr. Marianne, a qualified clinical psychologist. Thank you for being here. And if you are watching on YouTube, please do bear in mind that currently only 11.2% of you are subscribed to the channel. Please do come along and subscribe to my channel, Dr. Marianne Trent, and watch the content, like engage, comment, get involved, because it really does help me to create bigger and better content and to secure bigger and better guests so that you get more from this podcast too. And following a show or subscribing to a YouTube channel really is the kindest thing you can do for any creator that you rate. So if you're not already following the show on your favourite podcast platform, please do. Okay. With no further ado, let's dive in. Meet our guest for today, Tia and I will see you on the other side. Hi Tia, welcome along to the podcast. It's lovely to have you here.

Tia Urgasova (01:44 ):

Thank you so much for having me. Hello Marianne and everyone,

Dr Marianne Trent (01:48 ):

Thank you for being here. So we are thinking today about where you are right now, which is that you are an end stage trainee clinical psychologist who yesterday completed her Viva and past. Congratulations. And we are thinking about specifically your research today, which is on death anxiety. Is that right?

Tia Urgasova (02:11 ):

Yes, that's right.

Dr Marianne Trent (02:13 ):

Amazing. So what is death anxiety?

Tia Urgasova (02:17 ):

I mean, death anxiety really is the fear or the unease about our own death or the dying process. And this can show up as worry of losing control or the unknown. Most of us don't know what's going to happen after we pass and kind of what happens after life. And it can be a quite common thing as well. Of course some people experience at some point, but we don't really talk about it very much. So that's kind of where the research stemmed from.

Dr Marianne Trent (02:45 ):

So we're not necessarily thinking specifically about people who might have a palliative diagnosis or who think that they might not live as long as people around them. We're thinking about the general Dawson's Creek style existential ponderings of our own mortality. Is that right?

Tia Urgasova (03:05 ):

That's exactly right, yes. I mean, it's the one thing in life that is inevitable to all of us, and that's exactly what the thesis focused on.

Dr Marianne Trent (03:13 ):

Okay, absolutely. Can you tell us a bit more about your thesis then and the Terror Management theory? What is that?

Tia Urgasova (03:22 ):

Yeah, of course. So Terror Management Theory is a psychological theory that really tries to explain how we cope with the knowing that we will one day die. And terror management theory states that because we're the only aware animal that's aware of their mortality, it's quite unique and hence the term terror, because if we went through our life day-to-day just thinking about the fact that we will want has cease to exist, that is quite terrifying to think about. But the terror management theory states that basically we'll build up systems to buffer this terror, this fear, this death anxiety that we have. And we do this through systems like our culture, our personal values and relationships that act as buffers in a way. And these buffers give us a sense of meaning. They help us feel secure so that the death anxiety doesn't overwhelm us. It's a bit like having an emotional toolkit for that death awareness.

Dr Marianne Trent (04:13 ):

Okay. So terror management theory, TMT, is that something that's your own baby or is that already in the literature?

Tia Urgaso