[audio src="https://www.ambientblog.net/mix/Delusional.mp3" controls /]

When I started working on this mix, its working title was Wonderlust, simply because I liked that word: a variation on wanderlust ('a desire to travel') which the Urban Dictionary describes as 'the desire to be in a constant state of wonder'.
But as the mix progressed, the title didn't fit very well. There were too many dark and unsettling moments... moment that may evoke their own 'state of wonder' but of a completely different kind.

The Questions in Anja Garbarek's track are crucial to this mix and gave it its title: a few simple questions to diagnose severe psychotic disorders, a delusional state of mind. There may be quite a few of these delusional moments in this mix, but they are alternated with moments of joy in an almost melodramatical equilibrium.

For me, personally, a mix has the most impact when it feels like I'm watching a movie. With ups, downs, some drama, sentiment, moment of joy, climax and anticlimax. And yes: tension and release.
So then, if this was a movie, the Jon Hopkins track would be the last scene, and the Metropole Orchestra (or  Metropool Orkest as they are named in Holland) version of Brian Eno's classic track 'An Ending' would be the track under the end credits rolling.
End credits crediting no less than 45 fragments crammed together in a 59 minute soundscape compilation of music that was never conceived to be heard in a context like this.

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This mix is premiered on Concertzender Nederland in Bob Rusche's 'X-Ray'  radio show on Sunday, January 6, 2019. Thanks, Bob! '

Tracklist:
(first time is the start time, time in brackets is the sample length)

• 00:00 (01:13 ) Angelo Badalamenti/City Of Prague Orchestra - Mulholland Drive Theme
  Mulholland Drive soundtrack, 2001, Milan 74321 89823 2






• 00:59 (00:59 ) Allesio Ballerini - Wiwanana
  Wiwanana OST, 2018, Fluid Audio 054






• 01:43 (01:49 ) Martin Ptak - Storm
  River Tales, 2018, Col-Legno WWE 1CD 20441






• 01:57 (00:32 ) Goblin - Suspiria (Celesta & Bells)
  Suspiria OST, 1977/2012, Cinevox CD OST 702/s






• 02:30 (02:04 ) Jóhann Jóhannsson - Seeker Of The Serpents Eye
  Mandy OST, 2018, Invada LSINV203CD






• 03:11 (02:57 ) Monty Adkins - Still Juniper Snow: Distant Waters
  Bozzini+, 2018, Huddersfield Contemporary Records HCR19CD






• 05:38 (01:08 ) Anja Garbarek - Questions
  The Road Is Just A Surface, 2018, Drabant Music, DM58LPPER






• 05:52 (03:17 ) Gryllus Ábris - Post_02
  Post_, 2017, Farbwechsel FARB026






• 08:01 (01:51 ) Autechre - Sinstrailab Air
  NTS Sessions 2, 2018, Warp Records WARPCD364 






• 08:30 (02:31 ) Jessica Moss - Fractals (Truth 3)
  Entanglement, 2018, Constellation CST138






• 10:09 (01:58 ) Rudolf Eb.er - Ishikiri
  Om Kult: Ritual Practice Of Conscious Dying- Vol. II, 2018, Om Kult OM-2






• 10:27 (00:25 ) Anja Garbarek - Questions
  The Road Is Just A Surface, 2018,






• 11:05 (01:17 ) Ulnar - Daylight Fireworks
  Dreaming Of Sailing Further West, 2017, Colectivo Casa Amarela CCA003






• 11:41 (02:42 ) Jean C. Roche - Rancho Grande
  Birds Of Venezuela, 1973/2018, Sub Rosa SR411LP






• 12:05 (03:08 ) Arve Henriksen - Sanmyaku
  Sakuteiki, 2001, Rune Grammofon RCD2021






• 14:12 (02:34 ) The Newton Brothers - Feel Nothing
  The Haunting Of Hill House OST, 2018, Wax Work Records






• 16:23 (02:22 ) Thomas Vaquié - Ecume
  Ecume, 2016, Antivj Recordings 






• 18:31 (02:56 ) From The Mouth Of The Sun & Seabuckthorn - Lesser Still
  We Stayed The Path That Fell To Shadow, 2018, Lost Tribe Sound






• 21:21 (00:43 ) Maria W. Horn - Atropa
  Kontrapoetik, 2018, XKatedral XK12






• 21:44 (01:35 ) Bass Communion - Drugged IV 
  Reconstructions And Recycling (Bass Communion Remixed), 2003, Headphone Dust BCCD5






• 22:30 (03:07 ) Alea Saxophone Quartet - Arvo Pärt: Solfeggio
  Arvo Pärt Anima, 2017, Col-Legno WWE 1CD 20437






• 24:52 (02:57 ) BJNilsen - Table Of Hours
  Focus Intensity Power, 2017, Moving Furniture Records MFR062






• 26:40 (04:06 ) Illuminine - Dear, Utopia (feat. Adam Bryanbaum Wiltzie)
  #3, 2018, Ferryhouse Productions FHP 42617






• 26:42 (01:27 ) Michael Fahres - Het Gesloten Ogenblik
  Gäbrik (music from the book by Marc Legendre), 2018, Vlaamse Onafhankelijke Stripgilde






• 29:33 (02:20 ) Mathieu St. Pierre - 23.0785729, 143.9554413
  These Elephants, 2018, Se;f-released (Bandcamp)






• 30:46 (01:22 ) Janek Schaefer - To Row Against The Tide
  What Light There Is Tells Us Nothing (For Robert Wyatt), 2018, Temporary Residence Limited TRR305






• 31:53 (01:05 ) Mothertape - Problem 4
  In Progress Vol. III, 2018, Centrum Sztuki Współczesnej "Łaźnia"






• 31:57 (01:54 ) Murcof - Chapitre VI
  Lost In Time, 2018, Glacial Movements Records GMO35</li