I recently did some traveling, as I often do, and experienced some things that resonated with a conversation I recently had. As a matter of fact, I have this conversation a lot. Recently, I did a little over a weeks traveling and had the following experiences.

Food

I was recently staying at The Confidante in Miami and wanted to order some food from the pool bar. I was presented with a menu. I figured I’d have some bar food, starters, mains, and drinks. Don’t I wish... Instead, I was presented with such options as the Deviled Kale Caesar (Chopped Kale, Brioche Croutons Pickled Red Onion, Deviled Caesar Dressing) for $17, Miami Beach Ceviche (Daily Fish, Leche de Tigre Cancha, Plantain Chips) for $17, and the Cubano Grilled Cheese (Pulled Pork, Benton’s Ham, Pickled Red Onion Swiss Cheese, House Mustard, Pickle Media Noche Bread) for $18. I asked the following questions:

Q: Do you have a regular Caesar salad with chicken and romaine lettuce?
A: No.

Q: Do you have cheeseburger?
A: We do sir. (It was a weird burger...)

Q: Do you have Coors Light?
A: No. But we have the J. Wakefield “Hops 4 Teacher” IPA…

Hotel Rooms

If you know me well, you know I pretty much stay exclusively in Hyatt properties. I get mad loyalty points, they give me a direct concierge, and I provide them lots of feedback. This is some feedback they’re going to get...

They built a new property in Jacksonville less than a year ago. Phenomenal property. REALLY bad staff though. And I mean rude, uninformed, and selectively deaf. As an example, I asked to order food off of the “Gallery 24/7” menu and was told that I couldn’t place food orders until 4. It was lunch. And “24/7” is in the name. It was explained to me when I was checking out and mentioned my frustration that they girl was new... She could read just fine, much to my amazement. Not the point... but this is...

So I get into the room and really want to just relax and watch a tv show. I get out my iPad just like I do at every other Hyatt property, hook it up to the TV, choose the input, and hit play. Nothing. Change input (thinking it was labeled wrong) and nothing. So I unplug the known working HDMI and the picture properly appears. Yes! I hit play. And... I’m deaf. The audio is at full volume. I grab the remote to turn it down and nothing. After about 20 minutes of trying to figure it out, I discover that they’ve put a different control box in now and it actually has volume and inputs in it. The remote doesn’t actually control the TV but instead controls this box from hell. Ok I’m game. So I go to plug my iPad into the inputs on it. No go. The box is BOLTED SHUT with security screws.

I visit the front desk and ask if they have a normal remote for the TV and am told no. However, they asked if I’d like maintenance to come up. I promptly stated “Not if they don’t have a normal remote for the TV...” and go back to my room. I find Ridiculousness and start watching the three day marathon. About 5 minutes later, there is a knock at the door. Maintenance has arrived, doesn’t speak English, and (after pointing to the remote and playing the lamest game of charades) establish that they do not have a remote either...

What’s my point? “KISS” - Keep It Simple, Stupid! Do not complicate a TELEVISION! The same process since 1938. In the world of technology we live in today, there is no advantage to limiting customers. You’ll just piss them off and get articles written such as this.

Also, don’t “church up” food. Americans have been eating roughly the same food since we landed on this continent. Do you know what they ate at the first Thanksgiving? Fowl. Do you know what I ate this past Thanksgiving? FOWL!!!! Not Quinoa. Not gluten-free cornbread. Not avocado toast. Not poke. Please Millennials, stop ruining food. I’m begging you.

Simple, while it seems easy, wait... actually IS EASY! Make food simple and taste amazing. Make user experiences simple and logical. Don’t overcomplicate the simple things for the sake of “disruption”. You want to disrupt a market? Do something normal. Weird and complicated isn’t “disruptive” today. It’s what everyone is doing.