In Episode 162 of the *What Are We Doing* podcast, I dove headfirst into a surreal whirlwind of headlines and hypothetical chaos—because what better way to spend an hour than questioning reality itself? From Elon Musk’s over-the-top alliance with Trump to Red Lobster’s bankruptcy recovery plan, there was no shortage of jaw-dropping moments.

First up, Elon Musk is now not just Tesla’s kingpin but apparently Trump’s number one fanboy. Yes, the richest guy in the world is practically living in Pennsylvania, convinced it’s the key to Trump’s re-election. He’s pouring millions into America PAC, hiring canvassers like it’s a start-up launch, and has been hanging out with Trump like they’re frat brothers. Musk’s dedication goes beyond just tweets; he’s bought a “dark MAGA” hat and even plans a campaign bus tour. The world’s richest man might be funding Trump’s campaign, but hey, at least he’s finally putting his billions to *some* kind of use, right?

Then, we switch gears to a much scarier topic: Halloween costumes. After countless trips to Spirit Halloween, I finally locked in the ultimate get-up—Twilight masks. Yes, I’m talking Team Edward and Team Jacob here, folks. I’m channeling my inner vampire heartthrob with an Edward mask that’ll have you second-guessing who’s really under it. The Jacob mask? Equally terrifying, and definitely not something you’d want to stumble upon in a dark alley. So, it’s time for a serious debate: Team Edward or Team Jacob? Drop your answers in the comments—because I’m ready to defend my sparkly vampire alter ego to the bitter end.

And while we’re on the subject of hilariously bizarre, let’s talk about Trump’s latest merch—because apparently, he’s not just selling coins and Bibles anymore. Enter the “Trump Wand,” a so-called “presidential pleasure device” designed for patriotic folks tired of buying foreign-made goods. Imagine, if you will, a world where every OnlyFans creator wields a Trump Wand for that premium content boost. It’s a stroke of marketing genius—pun very much intended—and yet another reminder that in this election cycle, *anything* goes.

Next up, I delve into Red Lobster’s insane comeback story. After filing for bankruptcy, they’ve placed their fate in the hands of a fresh-faced 35-year-old CEO straight out of P.F. Chang’s. His first act? Ditching the “Endless Shrimp” promotion that nearly tanked the company. But don’t worry, the Cheddar Bay Biscuits are still flowing, and they’re even celebrating with a new promotion for four years of free Red Lobster. Apparently, nothing says “we’re back from the dead” like giving away even more free food—because if endless shrimp didn’t sink them, surely a biscuit bonanza will.

And of course, we couldn’t get through an episode without Elon’s next big venture: an army of Tesla robots. The man who gave us reusable rockets now wants to flood the market with Optimus bots that will soon be doing everything from babysitting your kids to checking your mail. I can’t help but wonder, is Musk trying to replace *me*? These bots can serve drinks, water plants, and basically do all the things humans were once paid for. With a price tag between $20,000 and $30,000, these robo-butlers are poised to take over. Just think—someday soon, you might be handing your kid over to a Tesla bot instead of a babysitter. And I, for one, am not sure how I feel about being replaced by a metal clone.

In true *What Are We Doing* fashion, I’m here to make you laugh, cringe, and question the absurdity of it all. Whether you’re on Team Musk or Team Edward, one thing’s for sure—2024 is gearing up to be one heck of a ride. So grab a Cheddar Bay Biscuit, hold onto your Trump Wand, and buckle up, because we’re just getting started.

---

Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/what-are-we-doing-pod/support