In today’s episode of the hidden world of women, Emma is joined by Hollie to share the story of her first child Logan. Hollie’s first pregnancy gave her no warning that her child would be born with a fatal genetic condition which affected his mitochondria. Hollie shares her birth experience, her son’s short life and the experience of grieving him afterwards. She also was kind enough to share how it felt going through her second pregnancy with her second child and the fear of losing her baby again.

Hollie has said she is consistently surprised by the effect her story has on other people when they hear it. This episode comes with the trigger warning that it is a candid and in-depth discussion of child loss. Hollie hopes that by sharing her story other parents who are having the same experience won’t feel so alone and isolated in their grief. No one thinks that in 2020 (and 2025) that there would be mothers and fathers leaving the hospital without their babies. It felt like an oxymoron, how could she be a mother without a child?

Hollie had her second baby more recently and discussed the fear that came with knowing that her first pregnancy had shown no signs of anything going wrong. No number of tests could take away the fear that her baby wouldn’t survive despite it being unlikely her second child would have the same genetic issues. Hollie chose to return to the hospital she had Logan at to give herself a sense of familiarity, she received good care there and decided it was one decision she could make to have control over the situation.

We thank Hollie for her vulnerability and willingness to share this story with us.

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