The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. Unfortunately, most people mismanage their relationships, and suffer immensely as a result.

As complex as the dynamic between any two individuals can be, there are a few universal principles that govern all relationships.It’s absolutely critical that you’re honest with yourself about all the ways you act vengefully in your relationships.

Many people are convinced they are pure of heart and would never harm a soul. These people typically carry out the most subtle and insidious acts of vengeance.

Personally, my default means of expressing resentment is to go cold. I’ll ignore the person I resent, and stop doing fun or nice things for them.

In the moment, I may make up a reason like “I’m just tired” or “I don’t feel like it.” — but now I know myself well enough to recognize those as lies.

In truth, my coldness is a way to repay the pain I experienced, since I know people feel pain when I do that.