What if I told you that the eating disorder you're battling isn't really about food at all—it's about rejection?

In this deeply personal episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on my own rejection story and how those painful moments shaped my relationship with food, my body, and control. From being told to "get in line by size" at dance practice to corporate disappointments and broken friendships, I'm sharing the rejection wounds that led me down the path of disordered eating.

Here's the truth: perfectionism is rejection prevention. It's the way your brain tries to avoid the emotional trauma of feeling "not enough." And your eating disorder? It offers the illusion of protection—a false comfort that promises to fix everything and prevent future rejection. But the only thing it really does is lead to the deepest rejection of all: rejecting your own worthiness.

Today, we're dissecting rejection together. I'm meeting you in that painful place so you can discover what I've learned: your rejection story can become your redemption story. Rejection isn't the end—it's God's protection, His redirection, and often the most powerful motivator for transformation.

If you've been shrinking yourself to fit into spaces you were rejected from, this episode is your invitation to take up space again, feel free again, and reject the rejection that was never yours to carry.

What You'll Learn:

[02:30 ] The moment everything changed: My dance practice rejection story and how one comment shifted my entire relationship with my body

[05:00 ] Why perfectionism is actually rejection prevention—and how it fuels your eating disorder

[07:15 ] The cycle that keeps you stuck: Fear of rejection → False control → Isolation → Disordered eating behaviors → Reinforced rejection fears

[09:45 ] How early experiences shape your relationship with safety (and why you desperately want to be seen, heard, and loved)

[12:00 ] Protection strategies your brain uses: Numbing through restriction, creating physical armor through body changes, food rituals as predictable comfort

[15:30 ] My personal rejection timeline: From Disney on Ice to corporate promotions, college boyfriends to broken friendships—the moments that shaped my story

[18:00 ] The powerful reframe: Rejection is God's protection and redirection. What would you have missed if those doors had stayed open?

[20:30 ] How recovered people reject rejection—practical steps to heal and move forward

[23:00 ] The three questions to ask when rejection voices show up: "So what? Says who? Who cares?"

Key Takeaways:

💔 Perfectionism = Rejection Prevention: Your eating disorder isn't about food. It's your brain's attempt to avoid the pain of feeling "not enough."

🔄 The Rejection Cycle: Fear of rejection leads to false control (food/body manipulation), which leads to isolation, which reinforces rejection fears, which prevents you from being seen, heard, and loved.

✨ Rejection → Redemption: Your rejection story matters because it can become your redemption story. Every painful moment can be transformed into power.

🚪 If those doors had stayed open, what would you have missed? Rejection is often God's redirection toward a better path you couldn't have imagined.

🛡️ Protection Strategies Keeping You Stuck:

• Numbing emotional pain through food restriction


• Creating physical armor through weight manipulation


• Using food rituals as predictable comfort


• Turning inward to "fix" things that don't need fixing

💪 Recovered People Reject Rejection: They show up imperfectly, embrace progress over perfection, create healthy boundaries, build self-trust, and sit with uncomfortable emotions.

🎯 The Most Powerful Truth: No one needs to like you but you. You are approved by God who created you and put a seal of worthiness on your birth certificate. You're not rejected—you're redeemed.

Reflection Questions for Your Journal:

📝 What are your rejection stories? What moments made you feel unseen, unheard, or unloved?

📝 How did those rejections shape your relationship with food and your body? When did you start "the exhausting project of trying to shrink yourself"?

📝 What parts of yourself have you rejected? Movement you loved? Activities that brought joy? Nourishment? Rest? Connection?

📝 If those doors had stayed open, what would you have missed? What blessings came from closed doors?

📝 What rejection are you still carrying that isn't yours? What old wound keeps replaying as current truth?

Action Steps:

✍️ Write out your rejection story. This isn't to create trauma—it's to find freedom in laying it down, forgiving it, and moving forward.

🗣️ Practice the three questions: Next time rejection voices show up ("you're not good enough," "you can't eat that"), respond with: "So what? Says who? Who cares?"

🔄 Reframe your rejections: List your biggest rejections, then write what you would have missed if those doors had stayed open.

💪 Start doing the next right thing: Show up imperfectly, embrace progress over perfection, create healthy boundaries, and build self-trust.

🙅‍♀️ Stop people pleasing: You don't need to be for everyone. It's okay to not have a seat at everyone's table.

Quotes from This Episode:

"Perfectionism is rejection prevention. It's the way that our brain and our mind tries to avoid the pain and the emotional trauma of feeling the not enoughness."

"In trying to protect yourself from rejection, you begin rejecting parts of yourself—movement you enjoyed, activities that bring you joy, nourishment, rest, and eventually connection with people you cherished."

"The eating disorder promises to fix everything, promises that everyone will accept you, promises to fix any future rejection. But the only real thing it does is lead to the deepest rejection of all: rejecting your own worthiness."

"Whatever story you've been replaying on repeat, you can learn to take up space, feel free again, and reject the rejection that was never yours to carry."

"Rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of a better path. When we start looking at it like that, it becomes the most powerful motivator in your life."

"No one needs to like you but you. The cycle of fear of rejection leads to false control, which leads to isolation, which reinforces rejection fears and prevents you from being seen, heard, and loved."

"Rejection is God's protection. It is His redirection. If those doors had stayed open, what would you have missed?"

"You're not rejected, you're redeemed. You're not bad. Maybe you just shine a little too bright for someone who couldn't handle it."

"Recovered people reject rejection."

Connect with Lindsey

• Website: www.herbestself.co 


• Private Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society www.herbestselfsociety.com 


• 1:1 Client Applications: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

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About the Host
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