Grief is another area where we’re often left to question, what is the adhd and what is the grief, or I suppose the neurotypical experience of grief. As we tend to process our emotions more intensely, grief can exacerbate adhd symptoms, but also the behaviours such as social withdrawal. A big loss can also be the tipping point for someone with undiagnosed ADHD, proving to be that extra factor that makes masking untenable. But then presenting as someone who is grieving makes it harder of course to find a clear path to an ADHD diagnosis. 

Emily Dean is a radio co-host, host Of the Walking the Dog podcast, and author of ‘EVERYONE DIED, SO I GOT A DOG’, which she wrote after losing her sister and both parents within a three year period. She was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. 

In this episode, Emily shares her experience of grief and we discuss the ways in which ADHD perhaps affected or even steered it. We talk about the intensity of emotions, the self criticism that can add shame to the cocktail of loss and upset, and the part masking plays in grieving with ADHD. 

Emily describes the comfort found in her dog, Raymond, and how important the love and support of friends has been in both coping with her grief and living authentically as a woman with ADHD. 

Emily also reveals how the next generation of ADHDers has inspired her to be more open about her diagnosis, and the moment that another family stepped in and altered the way she felt grief forever. 

You can find Emily on Instagram @emilyrebeccadean, on Frank Skinner’s radio show and on the Walking the Dog podcast, and her book - Everyone Died So I Got a Dog is available on all bookselling platforms. 

THE EXPERT

Dr Jo Steer is a chartered clinical psychologist working with children in Surrey, and the author of Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women

Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here: 

The ADHD Foundation 

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