Ep 128: Should I Be Friends with My Staff?
Ep 128: Should I Be Friends with My Staff?Update: 2025-04-19
Description
This one’s been a long time coming. I had employed staff for nine years, and now, on the other side of gym ownership, I see the whole picture clearly. In this episode, I’m unpacking one of the most common (and messy) questions I get from clients:
Can I actually be friends with my staff?
We’re talking leadership duality, blurred boundaries, emotional capacity, favouritism, and what it actually takes to hold a powerful, productive relationship while still being able to lead a team. If you’re managing people, or plan to, you need to hear this.
"You don’t need brick wall boundaries, but if you can’t hold duality, you’re not ready to lead."
[00:00 ] Why this conversation matters more than ever
[02:24 ] Small teams, proximity, and natural closeness
[04:45 ] What actually makes staff friendships messy
[06:58 ] Avoidance, emotional capacity & when things blur
[09:03 ] Duality is everything, can both people hold it?
[11:29 ] Friendship vs favouritism, what your team sees
[13:51 ] Boundaries, flexibility, and avoiding the “cold wall” trap
[16:08 ] What to do when performance slips but friendship stays
[18:32 ] Final thoughts: pro relationship with structure
Can I actually be friends with my staff?
We’re talking leadership duality, blurred boundaries, emotional capacity, favouritism, and what it actually takes to hold a powerful, productive relationship while still being able to lead a team. If you’re managing people, or plan to, you need to hear this.
"You don’t need brick wall boundaries, but if you can’t hold duality, you’re not ready to lead."
[00:00 ] Why this conversation matters more than ever
[02:24 ] Small teams, proximity, and natural closeness
[04:45 ] What actually makes staff friendships messy
[06:58 ] Avoidance, emotional capacity & when things blur
[09:03 ] Duality is everything, can both people hold it?
[11:29 ] Friendship vs favouritism, what your team sees
[13:51 ] Boundaries, flexibility, and avoiding the “cold wall” trap
[16:08 ] What to do when performance slips but friendship stays
[18:32 ] Final thoughts: pro relationship with structure
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