In today’s episode I’m in conversation with Dr. Justin Bullock. Justin is currently an Internal Medicine Resident in San Francisco, California. You’ll hear Justin talk about his experiences disclosing his disability at work, the process he had to go through to prove his fitness to serve as a physician because of his disability, the systemic ableism and racism in medicine and medical education, and the benefits and risks of telling your story and being visible. You’ll also hear Justin talk about article he wrote in the New England Journal of Medicine titled “Suicide—Rewriting my story” which describes his battle with bipolar disorder and suicidality during undergraduate and graduate medical education.

Please note our conversation took place in September 2020 and there will be discussions of hospitalization, death and dying, suicidality, suicidal ideation, and trauma.

I am proud to say that after 441 long days, today is my last as an intern. I survived some of my roughest days & discovered my voice in a new, beautiful way. Excited to close this chapter & turn to opportunities as a PGY2. #DocsWithDisabilities #BlackMenInMedicine #GayMedTwitter

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) September 5, 2020

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This Sunday, I am honored to get to do a live interview for ~200 basic scientists from @UCSFneuro at their annual retreat to talk abt mental illness, stigma & creating structures to improve mental health. Excited to continue this convo with my PhD colleagues#DocsWithDisabilities

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) September 12, 2020

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Because I can't not say this: A bunch of people protesting right now that black lives matter just watched me get destroyed my institution's fitness for duty process in silence (without a single black person in sight on the "well being committee").#showupwhenitsuncomfortable

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) June 4, 2020

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Update re: Physician Well Being Committee/Fitness for Duty Process(FFD)! Some powers that be thought they were sending me to get support; institution now seems to acknowledge that that was NOT the case and is trying to improve that for others…A THREAD/1https://t.co/uhj5lLdan4

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) October 3, 2020

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Despite this, I must have regular check ins with a faculty 'mentor', a case manager (whom I call my parole officer), I continue to meet with my own psychiatrist & therapist (as I was before all this). My institution was fixated on me doing a very specific type of therapy: DBT. /3

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) October 3, 2020

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I won't belabor the myriad of ways that the Fitness for Duty Process has undermined my current and future mental health, but what I would like to focus on are the changes that are currently underway. /5

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) October 3, 2020

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From my reports on the ground and from institutional leadership, the committee has already begun to diversify its membership. There is a task force currently reviewing the committee, and I have been asked to speak to share my story with the task force. /7

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) October 3, 2020

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Someone who deeply understands the nuances of the committee & has tangible power to change it was both apologetic and actionable oriented. We discussed how our institution exists w/in a challenging state legal structure w/ respect to providers w/ mental health & substance use. /9

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) October 3, 2020

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I end this thread for the first time in a long time, immensely and genuinely proud of my institution. I am still wounded, but I am healing and we are moving forward together. @UCSFMedicine #DocsWithDisability #BlackMenInMedicine #GayMedTwitter #MedTwitter

— Justin Bullock (@jbullockruns) October 3, 2020

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Transcript

[Google doc]     [PDF]

Related Links

DocsWithDisabilities Podcast Ep 17: Justin Bullock,  Dr. Lisa Meeks and Dr. Joe Murray, University of Michigan.

#DocsWithDisabilities campaign, Meeks Research Group, Department of Family Medicine and MDisability Initiative, University of Michigan.

“On National Physician Suicide Awareness Day, A Story Of Survival,” Jessica Gold, September 17, 2020, Forbes.

“In My Experience: How Educators Can Support a Medical Student With Mental Illness,” Anonymous, November 2019, Vol 94, Issue 11, p. 1638-1639, Academic Medicine.

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