*TW - Suicide and self harm  

This week's guest is the parent of a 17-year-old transgender boy. She talks about how it felt to support her son as they came to the realisation that their assigned gender did not match who they knew themselves to be. She describes how difficult it was for her son despite her family's acceptance and support of his decision, compared to other teenagers she knows of who have not been supported by their families. I ask her why she thinks some parents don't accept their children's LGBTQIA+ feelings.   

Heidi told me the hardest part of her son's transgender journey was their decision to change their name. She says she went through a period of mourning for the daughter she gave birth to.  We talk about how difficult it can be as parents to allow our children to determine for themselves who they're going to be, without trying to influence them. She gives some insight into what age she thinks is best for a teenager to undertake surgical transition, the controversy around puberty blockers and  how normal gender and sexuality changes are to our own teenagers' generation.

Heidi also talks about her own teenagers years growing up with undiagnosed bipolar, and how easy it was to miss amongst all the teenage hormones.   

Who is Heidi L Gross? 

Heidi published her first personal and heartfelt work, Embracing Love: A Parent’s Guide to Nurturing and Celebrating LGBTQ+ Identity. Inspired by her journey as the mother of a transgender son, the book aims to support parents who are navigating similar experiences, offering them insight, compassion, and guidance.  

More from Heidi

• Embracing Love: A parent's guide to nurturing and celebrating your child's LGBTQ+ identity - https://amzn.to/42nGW5E

Also listen to  

• What your transgender teen wants you to know
• Overcoming self-harm
• Mental health, sexuality and self-harm recovery

More teenage parenting from Helen Wills

• Helen Wills Counselling and Parent Coaching
• Actually Mummy parenting teens blog 
• Helen on Instagram

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Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham