Discoverwebe TogetherEp. 44: When “Guidance” Becomes Control: Are You Building Trust...or Quiet Resentment?
Ep. 44: When “Guidance” Becomes Control: Are You Building Trust...or Quiet Resentment?

Ep. 44: When “Guidance” Becomes Control: Are You Building Trust...or Quiet Resentment?

Update: 2025-08-19
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You love your kid and want the best—yet your “help” keeps landing as control. In this episode, Matt & Alona flip the script with Values in the Mirror, a tool that swaps power plays for collaboration so your child learns to steer with their own compass. Expect honest letters from real parents, zero judgment, and practical language you can use tonight. 🧭🤝

Challenging highlights you’ll want to hear:

  1. 🍩 The 6 a.m. donut before a race—how one parent turned “Put that down” into a values check that ended with a banana now, donut later.
  2. 🎮 The gaming fog—why banning screens backfires, and how a teen co‑created a boundary (weekly long-play + 9 p.m. text stop) that actually stuck.
  3. 🥣 Natural consequences at dinner—holding the line without shaming, and prepping in advance for the “I’m hungry at 9 p.m.” moment so connection survives the night.
  4. Letters that push buttons (in the best way): What if they “use our language against us”? What if they never learn without us steering? How to name protective use of force for safety—then return to collaboration.
  5. Big takeaways you’ll repeat: Presence over power. Softness isn’t weakness. Resentment from “help” can leak into the whole relationship. When kids test limits, they’re not scheming—they’re building identity. 🧠💚

Have a Kinectin Account? Explore these Nudges to see how they apply to your own life — in a way only Amari can.

Nudge: When I try to guide my kids all they hear is control. How do I turn that around?

Nudge: "You said you trusted me!" How do I build agreements for my child to understand protective limits? 

What is Amari? webe Parents has partnered with Kinectin to bring you Amari, your personal AI coach. Now you can interact with the ideas from our podcasts, articles, and parenting tips — and Amari will help you apply them directly to your pesonal Life. Don't have a Kinectin Account? Create one here

To learn more about what Alona & Matt are up to check us out at webeparents.com, or follow us on our socials at Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or YouTube. Be sure to subscribe to webe Pärents wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

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Ep. 44: When “Guidance” Becomes Control: Are You Building Trust...or Quiet Resentment?

Ep. 44: When “Guidance” Becomes Control: Are You Building Trust...or Quiet Resentment?

Matt Lederman & Alona Pulde