This conversation will open your eyes to how we all learn - and might even change the way you read books forever.

Stephen explains the difference between Self Help, Self improvement and Self Development and the impact that choosing Self Development can have on your learning - but also on your confidence, resilience, energy, behaviours, decision making and that important part of self identity.  We walk through the differences between them and some good examples of how to make this work for you.

Stephen introduces it as:

Self-Development is optimal in terms of personal growth and ownership of your own personal development. It's ensuring that you're taking ownership of the learning that you're doing and the information that you're taking on board.  It’s about action - you're going to do something with it - you're not just going to gather it - you're actually going to do something with it. By taking ownership, you build up greater self-awareness, self-confidence, self-management, more influence, better results. You enjoy success by being you, as opposed to thinking 'I followed the manual and it worked out well.’  You actually start to define a more authentic, sincere and concrete level of performance in terms of your own thinking, your own habits, your own emotions because this is you being you. This is the highest level of personal development, because you're going through personal growth by taking ownership.

I've added some detailed transcription notes below to help follow along with the conversation - let us know what you think at podcast@coachpro.online.

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TRANSCRIPTION NOTES:There's a personal development continuum. It's important that we understand that a there is a continuum, and where we are on that continuum. And by understanding where we are and what we're trying to achieve, and we can maximize our results and our time, make sure we get what we want. Now, this is valuable, because every day, all of us, we're all trying to progress, improve, learn something brand new, learn to adapt, get slightly better at something. So, understanding how we can best do this will ensure that we get the best possible results.

There is going to be some work involved. But it's worth it. You taking ownership. You build on your strengths, it builds your confidence, makes you more authentic, helps you take control.

Personal development is a huge industry, and it’s something that we all do - consciously or otherwise.

It's always been there. And it's come so much more to the fore recently because people are more aware of what they don't have, what they don't do. And they're being bombarded a lot with information as to who they should be, what they should be doing, what they should be good at, what they're going to need to succeed, what they're going to need to be happy. 

We’re being consistently told we could be happier, we could be doing more, could be more efficient, we could be better looking richer, taller, better dressed.  There's also the pressure to succeed.  To be a good parent, to be a good employee, to be a good neighbour, to be a leader.  It used to be, if you really want to get on, you're going to have to develop.  Now it’s if you want to remain where you are, you're still going to have to develop with the pace of change and the challenges. So personal development is a massive industry, extremely aggressively sold, and pushed to people. And it's something that we're doing every day, not necessarily consciously, but we are in a world of personal development.

We do need to constantly learn.  In the old days we used to learn everything you used to need at school. And that was kind of it. But nowadays, the half-life of knowledge keeps getting shorter and shorter. So, we need to improve. So, we need to personally develop, that's the key thing. And then so let's look at the different ways then. Or let's look at the different options that we have.

Imagine a continuum.  At one end it is very much about information. It's just building awareness. It's what you read, it's what you watch, the news channels, the gossip magazines, it's anything that's stimulating your thinking and presenting the world to you, That’s a level of personal development.  You will be informed of something that you weren't informed about before; you’re now informed about it so there is that low level of personal development, which is just getting that information. If all we needed was knowledge, then you know, we'd all be billionaires with six packs. If it was just information that we needed, then we'd all have achieved our dreams already. That's kind of what you're saying is the information isn't enough to help you get to where you need to get to.

The next level on the continuum, which is slightly higher in terms of personal development is when you go into Self-help. This is the fitness videos, books and publications and many of the different media and channels that you have from now. Self-help is mainly information, and it's general information. But it's considered to be helpful information on a general basis.  it's a kind of wide fishing net that gets thrown out there. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to be happy? Sleep better? Eat better? Do you want to feel younger or have better skin? Do you have you know want better career? It’s a very general approach; non-specific & not personalized. Some of it is fantastic. It can really inspire your thinking and ideas. But it's not about you. It's in general terms. Surely everybody wants this - why wouldn't you?

So simple guides to productivity, efficiency, how to sell more, how to be better at sports, anything. It’s general. I could pick it up, the person next to me can pick it up, and they'll be getting exactly the same information given to them.

The next level, Self-improvement, is moving more towards being about you. There's a higher level of personal development but it is still external.  If you decide that there’s something you want to get better at, maybe because you've realized there's a gap there, or there's something holding you back. Or you've pinpointed that if you can just solve this situation, everything else is going to be better.  Maybe it's your New Year's resolution, or it's going to be your project on yourself, or you’re seeing your neighbour, your colleague or your friend benefit from this, and you think ‘I want some of that’. You're going to add a language, a skill, one more qualification or complete another course.  These are all about Self-improvement.  I don't have something - something that's a perceived weakness - and I want to improve. And that's where you move into Self-improvement.  It's a weakness, it’s a hole you're trying to fill.

Many clients will say ‘I'm not a completer finisher’, or ‘I'm not a good presenter’, or ‘I'm just not good in a crisis’. They’ll then go and sign up to a crisis management course, or a presentation course a complete a finisher course. Because they think: ’I want to know what I'm missing, because I’ll then fill those gaps. And they want me to help.  Because one of the big things about Self-improvement is you're handing it over to someone else.  You want their secrets of success, someone else's methods, someone else's process, someone else's story of success, that you think ‘I could do that myself’

It's obviously more powerful than Self-help, because there is a level of involvement from the person as well, but it is still external and it's more about completing gaps.

It's still a lot of information.  It’s if I know that information, then I'm going to be better. But it's someone else's information. So, I have questions that I want someone else to give me the answer to.

Self-Development is at the end of the continuum where it's optimal in terms of personal growth and ownership of your own personal development. It's ensuring that you're taking ownership of the learning that you're going and the information that you're taking on board.  It’s about action - you're going to do something with it, you're not just going to gather it, you're actually going to do something with it. By taking ownership, you build up greater self-awareness, self-confidence, self-management, more influence, better results. You enjoy success by being you, as opposed to’ I followed the manual and it worked out well.’. You actually start to define a more authentic, sincere and concrete level of performance in terms of your own thinking, your own habits, your own emotions because this is you being you. This is the highest level of personal development, because you're going through personal growth by taking ownership.

So, it's clear from your tone that you're a big fan of this one.

I've seen it work. I've always believed that the success, the growth, and the real value with the people I've worked with, is what they then go on and do with the things we work on, rather than creating a dependency that they need me to be there all the time with them. As soon as they think the answer is in me more than the answer is within them, then I know I've got the balance of this wrong. I've always had an approach where I believed in the person, and I wanted that person to believe in themselves.  And that's why I have relationships with people that are lifelong and ongoing, as opposed to transactional, for one area of improvement. I've always believed in this approach.

When I've sat down with people it's quite common that they will say, ‘I want to know where the gaps are, I want to know what I'm missing.’ I will turn that round, and say, but I want to know what you're good at. Because if I can understand what you're really good at. And i