Episode 129 - A scene with too many mistakes. Can we spot them?

Update: 2024-09-06

Description

Here is a scene with a strong plot point important to our story. It should be powerful but it isn't because of technical mistakes in the writing. Can we spot the mistakes? Also, George Orwell's six rules of writing. And a review of how and why to avoid filters.

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Episode 130 - Kurt Vonnegut's rules of writing, and powerful character descriptioins.