INTIMACY = “Into ME” “I see”

For intimacy you would need the following ingredients, steps, or skills:

1. Self-awareness: what’s happening inside/outside

2. Self-reflection: what’s working/not working

3. Self-regulation:

• How to down regulate or up regulate


• Differentiation, Self regulation, & Attachment - Ability to hold onto Self (David Schnarch, author of Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationships)

4. Self-expression: Ability to articulate/verbalize aspects of your internal world, in a calm, clear, energetically clean manner & ideally to be received as such.

INTIMACY WITH OTHERS

• It gets more complicated & challenging when bringing your Self to share with the “other” that matters to you.


• Trust, safety, & respect are prerequisites for intimacy.


• Taking your armor off or laying it down, exposing your heart, & allowing for your Self to be seen requires a safe context & sufficient skill set.

BLOCKS TO INTIMACY 

1.  Cultural

2. Personal/Relational

“U Turn” & #connectinside

· What are you thinking, feeling, sensing, doing?

· What need, fear, wound, or dream is at stake?

· What “usual suspects” are coming up to protect you? Can you tend & befriend them? Their energy, emotion, & message is a gift.

When intimacy is shaky, get curious about what is driving behavior (yours or theirs).

· Are you resonating with fear?

· Are you resonating with the present moment? Here, here, now, now, what is possible?

· Are you connected to your heart, your truth?

· Are you in a state of contraction or expansion?

· Do you need time/space to “rest & digest” & have you communicated that?

· Are you focusing on growth, co-creation, & empowerment?

SUMMARY

There is a shift happening across generations. Old patterns of living & relating are being questioned, assessed, & when needed or desired, updated. You may not have learned the basic skills, steps, or ingredients of intimacy & you CAN now. To explore this topic further or to grow your relational skills... reach out to #reset!