Although gay men are often seen as being pretty uninhibited when it comes to sex, their fantasy lives tell a more complex story. Like everyone else, many gay men experience shame, confusion, or conflict around their fantasies. In today’s show, we’re diving into common themes that show up in gay men’s fantasies, the psychology behind them, and how to drop the shame.

My guest is Dr. Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist and author of multiple books, including Cracking the Erotic Code: Helping Gay Men Understand Their Fantasies.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

• What do sexual fantasies actually mean or represent?


• What kinds of things are gay men likely to fantasies about?


• Why are taboo themes so prevalent in gay men’s fantasies?


• How does porn shape gay men’s fantasies?


• What do gay men who feel ashamed or confused about their fantasies need to know?

You can visit Joe’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors! 

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The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.