Episode 57: Replay: Boundaries and Narcissistic Parents with Terri Cole

Update: 2025-07-11

Description

Some people will resist your boundaries. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

In this replay episode, I sit down with psychotherapist and Boundary Boss author Terri Cole for a conversation that so many of you have been asking for: how to set boundaries with a narcissistic parent. Terri doesn’t sugarcoat it. She names what’s hard, calls out the behaviors you might be normalizing, and gives you language and frameworks that actually work, even when you’re dealing with someone who refuses to respect your limits.

We talk about her “three boundary offenders” framework (first-timers, repeat offenders, and destroyers), how to enforce boundaries without being rigid or resentful, and why narcissists in particular see your limits as a threat to their control. If you’ve ever had someone use guilt, emotional blackmail, or even faux-concern (“are you okay? you seem unstable…”) to manipulate you into staying small, this conversation is for you.

We also talk about the long-term impact of growing up with a narcissistic parent—including codependency, emotional triggers that don’t match the moment, and why so many adult children end up feeling deeply unknown in their closest relationships.

If you’re ready to shift the dynamic and protect your peace without losing yourself in the process, this episode is a powerful place to start. There’s nothing wrong with you, and it’s not too late to make a change.

Episode Breakdown

00:00 Introduction

02:08 What Healthy Boundaries Actually Are

05:03 Why Boundaries Fail Without Enforcement

08:24 The Three Types of Boundary Offenders

19:02 Why Narcissists React Differently to Boundaries

21:22 Common Manipulation Tactics Narcissists Use

33:15 How Narcissistic Parents Impact Adult Relationships

41:02 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissistic Parent

47:12 Gaslighting, Triangulation, and Emotional Violations

Links

Connect with Terri Cole:

terricole.com/workshop