With his phenomenal debut memoir, FRIGHTEN THE HORSES (Roxane Gay Books/Grove Atlantic), Oliver Radclyffe takes us on a journey into trans-selfhood. We talk about the gap between a trans narrator and a cis-het reader, the importance of trans visibility, how his understanding of masculinity and being male have changed, and how he faced down the risks and sacrifices in his life as he transitioned, despite the uncertainty of what lay ahead. We get into how he found the perfect voice for his memoir, the importance of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy on his writing process, his life-defining moment of seeing Justin Vivian Bond, why being raised in privilege explained why he knew so little about the queer world, the surprisingly wonderful support his (conservative Christian) parents gave him throughout his journey, and why the book focuses on his pre-transition life. We also discuss whether he looks at photos of his pre-transition self, how testosterone has affected his life, how gender can shift with age, how the joy of publishing his first book has transformed him (and how he hopes it leads to a long mid-to-late-life writing career), whether he's ready to be an empty-nester, what it means to find validation through performance and defining oneself through relationships, why he identifies as a gender-irrelevant transsexual, and a lot more. Follow Oliver on Instagram and Bluesky and subscribe to his Substack • More info at our site • Support The Virtual Memories Show via Stripe, Patreon, or Paypal, and subscribe to our e-newsletter