Learn how I went from an unhealthy and suicidal Jehovah's Witness to a happy and healthy human being. I list exact books and podcasts that helped me in my journey to overcome the toxic and dysfunctional life that I had been given from my cult upbringing. Whether you're a recovering cult member or just your average person that has been blessed to never go through my experience, you can learn from this episode. This healthy information is something that everyone can benefit from, and I hope that you find something that improves your life in this episode. Direct Download Here Resources Mentioned (in no particular order): Books- Driven To Distraction – Edward Hallowell and John Ratey Man's Search For Meaning – Viktor Frankl Necessary Endings – Henry Cloud The Power of Vulnerability – Brene Brown Brene Brown TED Talk on Vulnerability Healing the Shame That Binds You– John Bradshaw The Emotionally Abusive Relationship – Beverly Engel The Narcissistic Family – Robert Pressman and Stephanie Donaldson Pressman A New Earth – Eckhart Tolle A Million Miles in a Thousand Years – Donald Miller Boundaries – Henry Cloud Happier – Tal Ben-shahar Last Lecture – Randy Pausch Podcasts - Mental Illness Happy Hour Dave Ramsey Show [expand title="Click Here To Show Transcript"] [00:01:52 ] Before we get started I'd like to give thanks for the iTunes reviews that I've received. They mean a lot to me personally and they kind of give the show credibility for those who are looking for shows like this. I had asked for some a few weeks ago and some of you responded and I really appreciate that also. Just hit a little mark. We're hitting 5000 downloads today. Just a week and a half ago to give you some idea. We hit 3000. So it seems like things are really picking up which is pretty cool and something that I really hadn't expected. This has gone far better than I could have anticipated. Now today I'd like to start with a little public service announcement something happened this week that hit me after last week's episode. The singer for the band Linkin Park Chester Bennington committed suicide. That kind of hit me hard for two reasons. One I just kind of got done reliving my own story and my own suicidal ideations and things and putting that out into the world. On the last episode to his music personally helps me on my journey. Their music ran the gamut from screaming to let out rage to these beautiful compassionate messages that mean he could sing at all different vocal ranges. They sing about things like codependents and depression and overcoming things. I could be totally frustrated with my life. Listen to one of their songs and feel like I either got the rage out or that I was understood. Sadly his own issues presented themselves in the end. Often it is those that hurt the most. [00:03:27 ] That kind of churn out some of the most beautiful art. If you're listening and you're hurting I mean I don't know how many people are listening I know. You know with 5000 downloads maybe there is somebody out there that's hurting. I just want to say that there are better ways out. Sometimes the disease wins as in his case and it is profoundly sad. However many do beat these thoughts and feelings. Our stories just don't make the news because shocking will triumph inspiring for ratings any day. I'm one such person and I know that there are many others. If you need help reach out with an open mind. You can find new ways of living and you can find what all of us are ultimately chasing which is happiness. The suicide prevention hotline can be called any time. 1 800 2 7 3 8 2 5 5. In fact if you google suicide prevention hotline It appears that they even have an online chat which is pretty cool. Just just reach out. Just please reach out. People do care about you and you can learn to care about yourself. [00:04:34 ] At the end of last week's episode I discussed this newfound revelation that I might have been dealing with some sort of ADHD for my whole life. This revelation was huge for me because it took away the moralization of my struggles that I've been giving my whole life and showed me that the cult that I have been taught to turn to for everything didn't really have the answers to everything. In fact there was a famous talk that made the rounds by a brother Mack in the organization that highlighted how we're all just getting by on pills and prayers brothers pills and prayers. This world is so wicked that it's on the way out and it's so hard to make it through well. That never sounded like a good life to me. It sounds more like an existence not a way to live. So I took this opportunity to dive farther into things I wanted to learn more about ADHD of course. And I dove headfirst into some online forums about it. I wanted to see how other people lived with it and kind of see how I fit in. I mean after all it is a spectrum. So you can't. So not everyone is going to have the same experience. I would spend the next couple of years heavily involved in that community not only receiving help but I also stuck around and tried to help others as much as I could. What I learned was that ADHD is an executive function disorder. That's exactly what it sounds like. [00:06:03 ] It's a difficulty in executing things in such a disorder you may face some measure of impulsivity and difficulty carrying out what you want to do unlike what the elders in the corrugation had just told me which I mentioned last week we all do what we want to do and it all comes down to choice. Well I was learning that our brains are often hijacked by many chemical imbalances and different disorders and sometimes just situational things. It doesn't mean that we have no choice in this world but it does mean that life doesn't merely come down to a matter of choices. If it did and we had this total control and all we needed to do or make better choices in life then we could be perfect for and if we could be perfect you know as this Christian I thought I was why would there be a need for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ that I held in such high esteem. Why would he need to sacrifice himself because we could overcome our sinful or imperfect natures simply by making better choices right. Speaking of choices I ended up having one to make here. You see Jehovah's Witnesses ridicule self-help they also for many years pretty much condemned any kind of psychology. After all the only thing that you really needed was prayer and faith. Faith could move mountains and if you did go to the realm of psychology just don't mention that you're a Jehovah's Witness is ok. I mean if you do so and then talk about all your problems you might make Jehovah or Jehovah's Witnesses which is what they're really concerned about look bad and we can't have that. You see you can see here how they are all about appearances which I've mentioned before the outward appearance. [00:07:50 ] They like to talk about a scripture that references whitewashed graves that look good from the outside but inside we're full of dead men's bones and they would apply that outward to other religions. They did a lot of projecting. In reality they often claim things about others that were just as true if not more so w