Talking's Over It's Time To Change

In this slightly-longer FMQ, we're taking a gentle but powerful step toward real change. No more talking about the issue. No more cycling through the same thoughts. This episode is all about shifting your focus to what actually creates transformation — how you want to feel.

So many of us get stuck talking, thinking, analysing… and nothing changes. Why?
Because talking doesn't always touch the unconscious mind — the place where these patterns were created in the first place.

• In this FMQ, I share:
  The real difference between empathy and compassion (and why empathy can overload you)
  Why talking about problems rarely changes them
  Where real emotional change really happens
  The simple, powerful pre-work for next week's longer deep-dive episode
  How focusing on "how I want to feel" can quietly shift things even before you do any formal process

This episode is your gentle setup — your seed — for the bigger, deeper process in next week's longer podcast. And it's beautifully simple.

---

✅ Your 7-Day Challenge (The Seed for Next Week)

Each day, take 2–3 quiet minutes and write down:

How would I like to feel?

Not the issue.
Not the problem.
Not "what's wrong".
Just: How do I want to feel instead?

Do it in different contexts if you want:

• With people

• At work

• Alone

• In difficult moments

• In good moments

Then… let it simmer. Let your unconscious mind start doing what it does best.

Next week, we'll take everything you've written and go deep with a full process to help make those feelings part of your natural way of being.

---

Why This Matters

Because talking doesn't always change anything — but educating the unconscious mind does.
And this tiny step gets you ready for a huge one.

---

Share It

Share this FMQ with someone who needs to feel better, think differently, or get ready for some genuine positive change.
You might kickstart something wonderful for them.

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-519-talkings-over-its-time-to-change

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

---

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.

---

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

---

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

---

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

---

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

---

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

---

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay.

 

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ 519 Talking's Over It's Time To Change

 

Welcome to the five minute quickie podcast with a slight difference. Slight difference is I want you to think about things.

 

So on a longer podcast, we can dive deeply into the subject and also with processes that allow you to change your issues. But what is it today? What is it today? Well, compassion or empathy. You see, I have real trouble with empathy.

 

You see, empathy, if I can say it right, seems to be that you have to feel the feelings of that person to understand them. And I know some really nice people who are mega empathetic. And the thing is, I don't think it does them any good, because they really feel the feelings of someone who is in pain.

 

And they feel in pain. I don't mind empathy when you're, you know, when you're feeling good, I'll join you in that one like no one's business. I'll be there quick as a flash.

 

But as a therapist, I don't want to feel your pain. I really don't. My mother, bless her, she was super empathetic.

 

She would have people come round. And in my mind, they were like, they dumped all their emotional pain on her, left it with her and walked away smiling. And she would then be for days thinking about it, worried about it, feeling it.

 

I don't think that's healthy, do you? Now, what's the difference? Compassion. Compassion. Compassion to me is to understand how you feel, how it affects you.

 

What are the effects of the way you're feeling? How, well, how bad is it? But I need to know from you, how bad it is. What does it feel like? You know, I don't need to feel it myself. Because I trust you.

 

I trust you if you know what, you are the expert in how you feel. Now, there's a real thing in this about having issues. Issues that make you feel pretty shit.

 

And you think, you know, people talk about these things. And this is where the empathy goes, I think. Because they talk and they talk and they talk.

 

And they keep talking and they keep talking about their issue, talking about their issue. And guess what? Nothing changes. And why doesn't it change? Now I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

I know sometimes it does change. Sometimes we get that aha moment. Sometimes that person we're talking to isn't empathetic and can reframe something, get you to think of something in a different way.

 

And you go, oh, that makes so much sense. But that's generally on the lighter sid