Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange

"I can be in my body, and in that moment, I feel safe." -- Kayla Tange

 

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kayla Tange, a Korean adoptee raised by Japanese-American parents. She has navigated a unique and complex journey through life as an exotic dancer, performance artist, and sex worker. Kayla shared her adoption story, detailing her early life in an orphanage in Seoul before being adopted at six months old.

We explored how her experiences with ADHD and autism influenced her career choices and her desire for connection. Kayla candidly discussed her entry into the world of sex work, revealing how it provided her with a sense of empowerment and control over her body—something she felt was taken from her during her adoption.

Throughout our conversation, we touched on the themes of identity, belonging, and the emotional complexities that come with being an adoptee. Kayla's reflections on her work and the connections she forms with clients highlighted the often misunderstood aspects of sex work, challenging stereotypes and emphasizing the agency she feels in her choices.

Kayla also read a powerful piece from her contribution to the anthology Whorephobia, which delves into her experiences and emotions surrounding her adoption and her work. Her insights offered a profound understanding of the intersections between adoption, identity, and the search for belonging.

This episode is a deep dive into the complexities of adoption and the ways in which individuals navigate their identities and experiences. I encourage listeners to reflect on Kayla's story and the broader implications it has for understanding adoption and the diverse paths that adoptees may take.

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RESOURCES:

Kayla’s information:

• Email Kayla: kayla.tange@gmail.com

• Check out Kayla’s Website: kaylatange.com

• Follow Kayla on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kayla.tange/

• Watch Kayla’s amazing short film Dear Mother: https://www.kaylatange.com/dear-mother

• Here’s the anthology, Whorephobia, that includes Kayla’s essay that she read on this episode: https://www.amazon.com/Whorephobia-Strippers-Art-Work-Life/dp/1644212277

Other Resources:

• APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com

• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com

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TIME STAMPS

00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and her son Joey.

00:00:34 - Today's Topic: Sexuality and Sex Work
Discussion on the focus of the episode regarding sexuality and sex work.

00:00:56 - Introducing Kayla Tange
Introduction of guest Kayla Tange, her background as a Korean adoptee, and her work in the sex industry.

00:01:52 - Kayla's Adoption Story
Kayla shares her adoption story, including her age at adoption and her upbringing.

00:02:32 - Early Interest in Performance
Discussion on Kayla's early interest in dance and performance.

00:03:20 - Career Path and ADHD Diagnosis
Kayla talks about her career journey and the impact of her ADHD and autism diagnosis.

00:04:49 - Transition to Sex Work
Kayla explains how she transitioned into sex work and dancing.

00:05:59 - Job Satisfaction and Flexibility
Discussion on the benefits of working as a dancer compared to retail jobs.

00:06:33 - ADHD and the Nature of the Job
Exploration of how the job suited Kayla's ADHD tendencies.

00:08:06 - Connecting with Customers
Kayla discusses the importance of connecting with customers and building relationships.

00:09:06 - Adoption Trauma and Connection
Exploration of the link between adoption trauma and Kayla's need for connection.

00:10:25 - Empowerment through Sex Work
Kayla shares her perspective on feeling empowered through her work.

00:12:17 - Commodification of Bodies
Discussion on the commodification of bodies in adoption and sex work.

00:13:24 - Feelings of Displacement
Kayla reflects on feelings of displacement related to her adoption.

00:14:01 - Experiences in Korea
Kayla shares her experiences and feelings during her trips to Korea.

00:15:11 - Creating the Film "Dear Mother"
Discussion on the process and impact of creating her film.

00:16:28 - The Power of Performance
Kayla talks about the liberating aspects of performing.

00:17:56 - Family Dynamics and Support
Kayla reflects on her adoptive family's support and concerns regarding her career.

00:19:13 - Community and Support in the Industry
Discussion on the supportive community within the sex work industry.

00:20:12 - Advice to Her Younger Self
Kayla shares what she would tell her 12-year-old self.

00:21:45 - Advice for Parents
Kayla offers advice to parents about supporting their children's interests.

00:23:49 - Reading from Whorephobia
Kayla reads a powerful piece from the anthology Whorephobia.

00:37:04 - Closing Thoughts and Future Plans
Discussion on Kayla's ongoing work and future plans, along with closing remarks from Beth.