When I first started going to AA meetings, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what “open” vs “closed” meetings meant, I didn’t know what a home group or sponsor was, and I was too afraid to ask. So, I just showed up to as many different meeting locations and times until I found my people. I found career men and women who were parents who talked about their experiences, and it sounded like they were talking about me.

Other people’s shares often bring up shameful memories I’ve buried, but when someone else tells a similar story, my secret loses its power over me. Meetings became my church before long, and I learned that going to meetings needed to match the effort I once put into getting a drink.

Somehow, I’ve gone from “acting as if” to actually feeling at home in recovery. I asked for a sponsor, found a home group, and let dependence on AA and a Higher Power replace my old self-sufficiency. My sobriety has become a quiet, portable home I carry with me. If you’re new to sobriety, try different rooms until one fits just right, ask someone to sponsor you, and keep showing up until sobriety itself becomes your inner refuge.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org 

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