https://youtu.be/1q_lL38A0Tc





























Join me as I make Gnome Chicken - From Tika’s Cookbook for the first time! This is a recipe from Leaves from the Inn of the Last Home sourcebook, originally released in 1987. The recipes are compiled by Tika Waylan Majere.







You can buy Leaves from the Inn of the Last Home here: https://amzn.to/3FOuL2J







From Tika’s Cookbook







Gnome Chicken







Translated verbatim from “The Big Book of HowTo Cook like a Gnome without Blowing up YourHouse,” by Corkitron Mericandoralifa. FurtherTranslated by Jeff Grubb.







You need chicken and bread crumbs and otherStuff, 12 to 18 pieces of chicken to be exact, however.Turkey, raven, crow, eagle, hawk, stirge, orother flying bird can be used. Giant versions ofThese creatures, suck as rocs, can be used forLarge family gatherings, but multiply all requiredIngredients by 100 or so. Cockatrices, while of aSuitable size, make poor eating and leave theDiner with a heavy feeling.







Anyway, two cups of bread crumbs are required,Either white, whole wheat, or SolamnicHardtack. If the latter is used, soak it for 10-20Days so it can be ripped apart by someone withLess strength than a titan. Bread stored in a paperBag for about a week is best, particularly the heelsThat everyone stays are healthiest for you but noOne eats anyway.







Crush the bread a few pieces at a time in a plasticBag with a rolling pin, baseball bat, or mace.Avoid putting the bag on a glass table, fine crystal,Or other object that may be damaged.







The bread can also be crushed by placing thebag in the path of an ambulatory statue, such as aJuggernaut. However, one must take care toAvoid being crushed by the juggernaut. A piece ofsturdy elastic hooked to a nearby lightpost will allowYou to place the bagin front of the juggernautAnd then spring out of the way, minimising theRist of being reduced to bread crumbs.







(The translation at this point delves into theMechanics of creating a harness and sling of sufficientElasticity to allow the cook to run out,Place the bread in front of the juggernaut, andThen be pulled to safety, followed by the constructionOf a maze which can contain a juggernaut,And finally the construction of a juggernautItself, a steam driven creation which has absolutelyNo ability to turn. Each time this methodHas been attempted, the juggernaut ended upPlunging into the sea because there was no wayto shut it down. Those cooks without access toJuggernauts or a seacoast to dispose of them areAdvised to stick with rolling pins, or just buy 2Cups of plain bread crumbs.)







The other stuff consists of finding a wide varietyOf herbal materials. The best place to find allThese materials is in the spell-componentpouches of mages and other spell-casters. TheseIndividuals are notably resistant to having individualsPaw through their belongings, so youMust create a device to remove the pouch withoutDisturbing the owner.







Attach a large knife or dagger to a long set ofextendable scissor-sticks. Go to a tavern frequentedBy spell-casters, crouch down in a darkCorner, then reach out with the extendable knifeAnd slice off a mage’s spell-component pouch. BeCareful to not reveal your presence, stab someoneBy accident (practice is advised). Or trip theWaitress with the device. After the pouch is cutLoose, use a second set of scissor arms (whichShould be built beforehand), to reach out andsnatch the pouch. Search the pouch for the necessaryMaterials, then return it to the mage, whoWill be so happy to get it back that he will notWonder how you got it.