You and Tom spend this episode unpacking a surprisingly liberating idea for investors: that average is good enough. Kicking off with your own story about a two-star podcast rating, you two stumble into a bigger truth—most people are chasing a level of portfolio perfection that doesn’t matter. Christine Benz’s Morningstar piece becomes the backbone of the discussion, contrasting “maximizers” (engineers, tinkerers, over-optimizers) with “satisfizers” (simple, diversified, sane). From there you hit Tesla’s trillion-dollar pay package drama, Bito’s goofy “dividends,” SGOV vs. CD ladders, fears about private equity sneaking into retirement plans, and a few classic Don-and-Tom tangents. The message: stop overthinking, build a sensible portfolio, and go live your life.

0:04 Don’s two-star review existential crisis and the epiphany about doing things for joy

1:16 Why being “average” in investing (and life) is perfectly fine

1:45 Elon Musk compensation debate and ETF shareholders not getting a vote

3:12 Don’s “brilliant raving lunatic” take on Elon and Tesla’s dominance

4:38 The kings of tangentiality finally introduce the show

5:55 Christine Benz and the “Good Enough Portfolio” philosophy

6:36 Maximizers vs. satisfizers explained (plus Bogle bobbleheads)

8:53 Why over-optimization rarely improves results

9:56 Happiness and second-guessing: satisfizers win

11:22 Time costs, tax worries, and the illusion of finding a perfect portfolio

12:33 Two-fund vs. ten-fund portfolios and why simplicity works

13:55 Working harder doesn’t usually make you richer—your job does

14:25 Listener letter: long-time fan from Silverdale reminisces about 1988

15:26 Tom recalls being put on the air after several glasses of wine

16:03 Acorns user asks about BITO’s wild “dividends”

18:10 Why BITO’s payouts are actually return of capital and cannibalization

19:58 BITO’s volatility roller-coaster (standard deviation 53)

20:12 SGOV vs. CD ladders for short-term retirement cash

22:07 Why emergency funds shouldn’t sit in a Roth IRA

22:58 Listener concerned about private equity creeping into 401(k)s

23:52 PE risks, political pressure, and greater-fool concerns

25:27 Don thanks listener “AlwaysLearning1953” for the positive review

26:49 Murder of Crows, sound effects, and the power of scary crows

27:36 New Tales Told update—more stories on the way

28:38 Saturday live show reminder and flyover banter

28:58 Don’s Kansas/Leavenworth childhood story detour

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