When Your Dentist Uses ChatControl Logic

So there I am, sitting in the waiting room with a mildly annoying
toothache. Nothing catastrophic, just one of those dull throbs
that tells you something's going on in there that could turn nasty
if ignored. The receptionist calls my name, and I walk into Dr.
ChatControl's office.

Dr. ChatControl greets me with a concerned expression. "I've
reviewed your case," he says gravely, "and many others. Toothaches
are a serious problem. Did you know that in 2023 alone, at least
101,988 people in Europe experienced dental pain? That's over 60%
of all global dental complaints traced to this region."

"Okay," I say. "But I just need you to look at this one tooth"

"This is an epidemic," he interrupts. "And we can't just treat
symptoms anymore. We need a comprehensive, mandatory risk
assessment."

Dr. ChatControl pulls out a 47-page questionnaire. "First, we
assess the risk that your mouth might develop cavities, gum
disease, or oral cancer," he explained. "This applies to everyone,
regardless of whether they have symptoms."

"But I have symptoms," I sigh. "That's why I'm here."

"Exactly!" he says triumphantly. Which means you're high-risk. So
we move to Phase Two: mitigation measures."

He hands me a pamphlet titled
Safety-by-Design for Oral Health
. "From now on, you'll need to implement parental controls on your
diet. Every candy will come with an age verification wrapper and
user reporting mechanisms. so your teeth can flag potential
problems, and verify your age before consuming any hard foods."

"I'm 38," I retort.

"Perfect," he replies. "That means you're old enough to consent to
monitoring."

"Now," Dr. ChatControl continues, "since your mitigation measures
haven't been implemented yet because you just got here - I'm
authorized to issue a detection order." He holds up an
official-looking document with a judge's signature. "This allows
me to scan not just the tooth that hurts, but your entire mouth.
Also your sinuses. And your lymph nodes. And, just to be thorough,
everyone in the waiting room."



"Wait, what?" I blurt out.

"It's targeted," he assures me. "We're only scanning high-risk
areas—which, according to our independent EU Dental Centre, is
every tooth, every patient, all the time."

"But here's the clever part," Dr. ChatControl says, pulling out
what looks like a tiny sander strapped to an airbrush.

"Well, your enamel contains layers that currently block our view
with regards to early detection of certain viruses. So we need to
replace the enamel with an optimized layer that perfectly protects
against currently known sugars and acids but allows our government
approved detection equipment to inspect the content of your
teeth."

I' flabberghasted. "You want to weaken my enamel?"

"Only slightly!" he said cheerfully. "Just enough so that our
scanner can monitor what's happening inside your teeth at all
times. Don't worry,the new enamel will still protect you from
everything else."

"How's that possible if you can penetrate it?", I continue, still
cautious.

"Well, factory approved candies, for example," he says. "Reputable
candy manufacturers have agreed to respect the adapted enamel and
not penetrate it. They've signed a treaty to use optimized
sugars."

"And the artisanal candies?" I asked.

"Ah," he said, adjusting his glasses. "Well, tho