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Title: Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong
Author: Gina Kirkham
Narrator: Diana Croft
Format: Unabridged
Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
Language: English
Release date: 12-14-17
Publisher: Audible Studios
Ratings: 4 of 5 out of 2 votes
Genres: Fiction, Humor

Publisher's Summary:
Meet Mavis Upton. As mummy to 7-year old Ella and surrogate to far too many pets, and with a failed marriage under her belt, Mavis knows she needs to make some life-changing decisions. It's time to strike out into the world, to stand on her own two feet ...to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a Police Officer. I mean, what could go wrong?
Supported by her quirky, malapropism-suffering mum, Mavis throws herself headlong into a world of uncertainty, self-discovery, fearless escapades, laughter and extra-large knickers. And using her newly discovered investigative skills, she reluctantly embarks on a search to find her errant dad who was last seen years before, making off with her mum's much needed coupon for a fabulous foam cup bra all the way from America.
Follow Mavis as she tackles everything life can throw at her, and revel in Gina Kirkham's humorous, poignant and moving story of an everyday girl who one day followed a dream.

Members Reviews:
Some laughs, some editorial problems
This is sort of a novel. Itâs written episodically, with interconnected chapters. If it were a blog or a series of teleplays for a sitcom, it would work, but its attempts to be a novel, or at least novel-like, donât.
There are definitely some laughs throughout. The first chapter is strongâhilarious. The story of single mother, thirty-something Mavis Upton has potential. Mavis is likeable in that she doesnât spend her days fretting about her ex-husband or how sheâll get a man. Her concerns are her mom and seven-year-old daughter, Ella, and being the best police officer she can be.
Unfortunately, there are a LOT of snot/booger/fart jokes. More significantly, this book desperately needed a professional editor. Had the author hired one, the editor would have cut out every use of the word ârather.â The word is abused horribly. The phrase ârather fetchingâ comes up dozens of times. On one page, there might be ârather fetching,â ârather plump,â and ârather attractive.â
The editor would have also deleted clichés like âavoided like the plagueâ and âeyes as big as saucers.â This author can write light humorâshe has some fun turns of phrase like âElla gave him a glacial stare that would have frozen the testicles off a polar bear.â
The other problem is that in most cases, you can figure out the gist of the misunderstanding or dilemma Mavis will find herself in at the beginning of the chapterâyou can see the joke coming, which makes it not as funny because part of humor is the unexpected. I think Kirkham would have been better served to focus on the story rather than trying to be hilarious. Then, sheâd have a better book that sometimes had some humor in it.

Fantastic Book
A book, made me laugh out loud and shed a tear. As a former police officer I followed some of the ups and downs of the job. I love that this book is very real, these things happened and I love the good, bad and ugly of the job that Police officers do, this one was wonderful as it also gave an insight onto life behind the " the thin blue line". I sure hope Gina Kirkham can provide us with another book of the life of Mavis Upton. I will sure be waiting for the follow up.

Fabulous, uplifting book
I knew Gina when we were young and the start of the book was a trip down memory lane! The rest of the book was funny and poignant. I loved it.