Hi. It’s Carissa and this is bad at keeping secrets. How do you feel sad? What does grief look like? This week I have the pleasure sit down with Carla Fernandez to talk about something we all carry but don’t really know how to hold: grief. Her book, Renegade Greif, demands space for loss, offering tools, rituals, and language for navigating our sadness in a world that too often tells us to move on. If you’re yearning for a way to work with your sorrow, or just need permission to feel, this conversationis for you.

Grief isn’t something we get over. It’s something we move with, slowly, awkwardly, and sometimes beautifully. In today’s conversation, I sit down with Carla, co-founder of The Dinner Party and a renegade in the world of grief work. Together, we explore the ways grief shapes us, not just emotionally, but biologically. We talk about the awkwardness of support, the quiet power of altars, the strange rituals that help us stay human, and the long, looping journey (I hate this word but it is what came to mind) of learning to live with loss.

This episode is for anyone who's ever wondered if they're grieving the “right” way, anyone who’s been asked to show up for someone else when they were breaking inside, and anyone trying to find meaning in the mess.

Grief isn’t linear. But community, ritual, and honest conversation? They help.

What do you do that helps you get through the day?

Carla has so lovingly rallied this ritual collection for you. In case you need a place to start. Her book, Renegade Grief, is a much more expansive version…

With love, Carissa

PS I’m doing a series of events with Happy Women Dinners in the Fall— one in the SF Bay Area and one in Los Angeles.

To reserve a seat, email jill@happywomendinners.com. The ticket ($150) includes a signed copy of Breathe Through It, dinner/brunch, a Q&A with me and Tara Schuster, and some hang time with other women.

SAN FRANCISCO: Sunday, September 7th, 12pm-2:00 pm (private home in the Oakland Hills)

LOS ANGELES: Thursday, October 23rd, 6:30 pm-8:30 pm (private home in Encino)

There will be other events to come!

PPS Bad At Keeping Secrets is a podcast by Carissa Potter (me). The audio was produced by Officially Quigley, and the sound editing was done by Mark McDonald. Mark helps people start podcasts, and I highly recommend him if you have been thinking about starting one. You can sign up for a free meeting with him here.

Get full access to BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS at peopleiveloved.substack.com/subscribe