In this episode of Love & other assets, Emily Luk, CEO and co-founder of Plenty, sits down with Nathan Astle, a leading financial therapist, to delve into the often uncomfortable topic of debt in relationships. They explore how debt can become a source of shame and guilt, particularly when individuals compare themselves to their partners or feel pressure to achieve a debt-free lifestyle. Nate emphasizes that everyone makes mistakes, and judging ourselves or our partners harshly for having debt can hinder our motivation to change. He suggests reframing debt as a problem to be tackled together as a team rather than a reflection of personal failures.

The conversation also delves into the dynamics of navigating debt within couples who have different levels of debt, highlighting the importance of establishing shared financial goals and values. They discuss the various types of debt, acknowledging that not all debt is created equal and that circumstances often play a significant role in debt accumulation.

Nate offers valuable advice for couples navigating uncomfortable money conversations, including the importance of validation, sharing space for understanding, and seeking professional help when needed. He stresses that therapy can be a powerful tool for prevention and support, helping couples build a stronger foundation for communication and decision-making.

What we discussed:

• Reframing Debt: Understand that debt is a problem to be tackled together as a team, not a reflection of personal failures.
• Shared Financial Goals: How to establish clear goals and values when it comes to money as a couple, whether it's sharing everything or creating a "yours, mine, and ours" system.
• Validate Emotions: How you can acknowledge and validate each other's feelings about debt, even if you don't agree with them.
• Seek Professional Help: Nathan shares why you should seek the guidance of a financial therapist or couples therapist when navigating difficult conversations.
• Understand & Communicate: Nathan shares how to use the speaker listener technique to ensure each partner feels understood before diving into problem-solving.
• Focus on Purpose: How to make choices that align with your shared values and emotional needs, rather than focusing solely on the "things."

Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Brought to you by Plenty. Plenty is an investment platform designed specifically for couples to build wealth, together. We go beyond budgeting, making it simple to invest, save and grow towards your future goals by unlocking access to the financial strategies of the wealthy.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Nathan Astle: Website| LinkedIn 

Connect with Emily Luke: Website | LinkedIn | Twitter

Plenty: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter/X
 

PEOPLE & RESOURCES MENTIONED

Channing Allen

Relational Money

Financial Therapy Clinical Institute

Beyond Finance

Financial Therapy Association

Feelings Wheel

Speaker Listener Technique