In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast with host Simon Goode, we dive into the crucial topic of managing emotions during performance management meetings. Simon, a seasoned professional mediator, addresses the challenges often faced in these meetings, especially when conflict escalates. He explores various de-escalation strategies tailored for performance management conversations by focusing on five key aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness. Simon also discusses the importance of balancing assertiveness with empathy, offering step-by-step insights into how to maintain composure through both verbal and nonverbal communication. Whether you're aiming to foster collaboration or need to take a more direct approach, Simon's guidance in this episode provides valuable tools to help navigate performance-related discussions effectively. Tune in to learn how to keep these crucial conversations more productive and less contentious.

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EPISODE SUMMARY: 

1. Understanding Performance Management Conflicts
   • Performance management processes as potentially adversarial.
   • Natural combativeness and defensive responses.
   • Approach to de-escalation in performance management settings.
   • Balancing assertiveness and empathy.
2. De-escalation Skills and Their Application
   • Overview of five aspects: certainty, relatedness, autonomy, status, and fairness.
   • Individual context-based approach to either assertiveness or empathy.
   • Five options for responding to conflict: competing, compromising, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating.
3. De-escalation Strategy: Certainty
   • Providing certainty through information about what to expect.
   • Discussing behavior, consequences, and facts.
   • Transparency and specificity in addressing issues.
4. De-escalation Strategy: Relatedness
   • Demonstrating understanding and empathy.
   • Allowing questions and pausing to slow the pace.
   • Addressing emotions and processing time.
5. De-escalation Strategy: Autonomy
   • Giving a sense of control over the meeting and issue.
   • Offering choices and soliciting input on problem-solving.
6. De-escalation Strategy: Status
   • Making the person feel important.
   • Acknowledging contributions and separating issue from personal attributes.
7. De-escalation Strategy: Fairness
   • Allowing responses and questions.
   • Implementing transparent processes and outlining change expectations.
8. Nonverbal Aspects of De-escalation
   • Voice tone, volume, and pace adjustments.
   • Facial expression and body language considerations.
   • Maintaining a composed presence to influence meeting dynamics.

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website: simongoode.com
email: podcast@simongoode.com