Today’s passage, “Brain scans show that when a person hears information in opposition to a belief they strongly hold true, or information that actually even disproves the belief, the emotional, not the cognitive centers, of the brain is activated or lights up.”

What if we retrained our brains to welcome every opposing opinion. To view every rage filled manifesto posted on Facebook, hateful meme on Twitter, news commentary that targeted our outrage center, to experience the event without reaction or resistance?

Ellen Gottlieb’s new book, “How To Raise A Parent” Becoming a Conscious Parent in an Unconscious World, she focuses on the perils of unconscious parenting and how to avoid them. What I find so fascinating about her book is that you can apply every lesson to every type of relationship in your life. 

Dr. Shefali writes in her forward to Ellen’s book, “Ellen’s wonderful book paves the way for parents to apply its principles in a grounded, concrete, and practical way. These words will encourage you to build a stronger connection with your kids and help them discover their authentic selves. It is a must read for every parent who wishes to heal and fortify their relationship with their children. Your children will thank you for this.” 

I think you could really rewrite Dr. Shefali’s forward to say the book paves the way for parents to apply its principles to not only build a stronger connection with their children but also with their romantic partners, bosses, coworkers, parents, siblings and children to heal and fortify their relationships in a healthy way rooted in authenticity and presence.

To be honest, I would like to do a book study on her book to breakdown her teachings in precisely this manner, apply every lesson and vignette to a variety of relationships.  

I’ll give an example. In Chapter 17, Ellen discusses, “Power and Responsibility” as she writes that, “Gratitude is an outgrowth of mindful living. Children who are raised in a conscious way inevitably feel worthy and are consequently grateful, while also being humble. This practice requires unconditional acceptance, connection, as well as, the imposition of clear boundaries.” She then bullets the following for reflection: "Have I been a role model for self-worth?" You can ask that question from parent to child, romantic partner to romantic partner, boss to subordinate, etc. Many of us believe, myself included, that when we are operating from a higher form of what you could call wellness, or awareness, most folks around us naturally attune to our balanced and easy approach in kind.  Sort of like the saying we have on the NYC Subway advertisements, “Courtesy is contagious”.  

Ellen asks, “Have I instilled the values of gratitude and humility?” Well, to instill these values in our children, we must embody these values in our romantic relationships, with our work colleagues, family members, etc. We could ask, “Do I embody the values of gratitude and humility in all my affairs?”

It stands to reason that the first step in any successful, healthy relationship is the awareness of one’s own self acceptance.  Once we heal triggers like not reacting to opinions that are in opposition to our own with grace and understanding, the battle is nearly won as we recognize that we are all in this together as one.
 
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