How to Self Coach

How to Self Coach

Update: 2025-08-18
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Description

Have you ever wondered how different life could feel if you were able to pause, step back, and coach yourself through challenges as they arise?

In this episode we explore the practice of self-coaching, what it really means, how it works in everyday life, and why it is such a powerful tool for personal growth.

As coaches, one of the greatest benefits of our training has been learning how to develop our own inner coach. This isn’t about striving for perfection or trying to be a “superhuman.” Instead, it’s about cultivating awareness, curiosity, and reflection in a way that allows us to step out of our experience long enough to gain a fresh perspective.

We talk about the cues that signal when it’s time to coach ourselves, from moments of emotional intensity to times of great joy when we want to understand how to recreate that feeling. Jo shares how she has learned to notice when she is “in something” fully absorbed in an experience and how to hover above it, reflect, and gently question “what’s happening for me”?

We explore a wide range of reflective questions that listeners can add to their own self-coaching toolkit, from belief-based and emotional check-in prompts, to deeper existential reflections. We highlight the importance of differentiating between genuine self-coaching and overthinking, and we talk about the need to balance reflection with action.

Most of all, this conversation reminded us that self-coaching is about the relationship we choose to build with ourselves. Do we want to give energy to our inner critic, or nurture our inner coach? The quality of the questions we ask ourselves often determines whether we stay stuck or move forward.

Whether you are a coach yourself or simply curious about bringing more reflective practice into your life, this episode offers both insight and practical tools to help you grow.

 

Timestamps

  • 00:47 – Why self-coaching matters when resources are limited
  • 01:16 – Reflection and noticing: stepping outside your experience
  • 03:04 – Core coaching elements that underpin self-coaching
  • 04:31 – The myth of needing to self-coach all the time
  • 05:25 – Learning from moments of joy and success
  • 06:21 – Coaching methodologies that support self-reflection
  • 07:46 – Expanding your self-coaching toolkit with powerful questions
  • 09:14 – Emotional check-ins and boundaries
  • 13:50 – Testing possibilities and taking small, safe steps
  • 16:04 – Self-coaching vs overthinking: how to spot the difference
  • 17:25 – Radical personal ownership and accountability
  • 19:20 – Success criteria for effective self-coaching
  • 20:17 – Choosing between your inner critic and your inner coach
  • 21:11 – Our invitation for you to reflect, review, and share

 

Key Lessons Learned

  • Self-coaching is grounded in reflection, presence, and awareness, noticing when you need to step back and explore your experience differently.
  • It is not about being “on” all the time; sometimes the most powerful growth happens when you simply sit in the messiness of life.
  • The quality of the questions you ask yourself matters more than the complexity, simple, courageous questions often lead to the deepest insight.
  • Emotional check-ins, belief exploration, and reflective questioning can help uncover hidden patterns and create space for new choices.
  • Self-coaching requires balance between reflection and action; growth happens when insights are followed by meaningful steps forward.
  • Developing an inner coach strengthens your relationship with yourself and can transform the way you navigate challenges.

 

Keywords:

Self-coaching, Coaching tools, Reflective practice, Inner coach, Emotional awareness, Personal growth, Coaching questions, Overthinking vs reflection, Coaching mindset, Radical ownership

 

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How to Self Coach

How to Self Coach

Zoe Hawkins and Jo Wheatly