DiscoverDear Black Gay Men PodcastI Obsessed Over Being a Better Top (here's what I learned)
I Obsessed Over Being a Better Top (here's what I learned)

I Obsessed Over Being a Better Top (here's what I learned)

Update: 2025-09-25
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I talked 20 bottoms to bust myths tops have about good sex. Twenty conversations narrowed down to just 4 things that bottoms say tops can do to have immediately better sex

Whether you’re dating someone new, in a long term relationship already, or just hooking up while you’re single, sex is an inevitable part of your life. We all want it and we all want ours to be the best.

My whole job on this channel is to help Black gay men remember how dope it is to be us and to love us. Sometimes that interaction purely sexual

So if I can help tops give a performance that’s worth a bottom changing a diet and douching their life away, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Because the goal isn’t to just know WHAT bottoms say makes sex good, but to understand WHY THESE THINGS MAKE SEX GOOD.

Dear Black Gay Men’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

00:00:00 | Introduction: What Makes S*x Good?

00:01:28 | Myth #1: Does Dick Size Really Matter?

00:14:47 | Three Questions for Better S*x

00:19:42 | Myth #2: Shorter S*x is Better

00:30:13 | Top vs. Total Top: A Cultural Shift

00:40:23 | Myth #3: The Power of Praise Kinks

00:56:06 | Myth #4: Connection is Key (Even for Hookups)

01:08:29 | Get to Know J.A.Y. & The Studio

01:11:44 | Final Thoughts & The P*rn Debate

01:21:53 | Conclusion

The host recaps the four key findings from his interviews with bottoms:

* Husband dick is the perfect size

* Multiple quickies are preferred over long sessions

* If it's big, talk them through it

* S*x is better with emotional connection

The episode ends with a final thank you to the listeners and a look ahead to next week's show.



This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe
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I Obsessed Over Being a Better Top (here's what I learned)

I Obsessed Over Being a Better Top (here's what I learned)

Jai The Gentleman