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Ever been told that “real” trauma work should leave you wrung out and wrecked? We take that myth apart and show a different path—one built on careful pacing, body awareness, and tiny changes that add up. With training across EMDR, IFS, neurofeedback, and trauma‑sensitive yoga, our guest guides a live Internal Family Systems demo that turns abstract ideas into a concrete experience you can feel.

We start by swapping “triggers” for trailheads and using a simple life satisfaction check to find where to begin. A tight chest and tense shoulders open a path to a childhood scarcity memory and a protector who keeps every plate spinning. That drive to hustle isn’t random; it’s guarding against shame and the terror of being unlovable or losing belonging. You’ll hear how work can become a numbing strategy, why avoidance and the inner critic quietly slow healing, and how to tell the difference between productive discomfort and harmful pain.

Then comes the turn: self‑energy. When we access that lighter, hopeful, creative core, protectors often want to help in new ways—without the exhaustion. Instead of overnight reinvention, we lean on cognitive neuroscience: 1–3% changes. Track the moments you fear disappointing your family. Notice when people‑pleasing spikes. Name the inner critic, and pause before numbing. Observation builds choice, and choice builds momentum.

If IFS resonates, we share practical next steps to find certified support via the IFS Institute and high‑quality resources from Richard Schwartz. No plastic‑banana knockoffs, no heroics—just honest work at a humane pace. If this conversation helped you see your patterns with more kindness, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a gentler approach, and leave a review to help more people find it.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone.

Valiant Living helps men and their families move from crisis to stability through clinically driven care, community, and hope.

Learn more about our programs at www.valiantliving.com
or call us confidentially at (720) 796-6885 to speak with someone who can help.