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In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:

1. Not Since O.J.!: Trump hit by legal shit sandwich as DC Sando-Terrorist walks free in shock loss of Trial of the Millenium - But if the sub don’t hit, you must acquit!
2. How Could NY Elect a 34yo Who Never Molested, Defrauded Anyone?!: Patience, people!
3. Trump ices trade deal with China: “How you like that one, Soy Boy?!”Hardman Xi : “Frankly Don, I thought it'd be bigger!
4. Oasis Cowers At The Tower!: The Towering Majesty of Warren Zevon that is!, as Kid Rock releases original new hit, “Wonderwalls of London”

Also from the worst week since... actually they're all pretty f*cked atm:

• Kash Patel’s PJ BJ as he slides into Nashville for All-American booty call - Taxpayers’ dollars finally getting some action from Trump regime!
• Grieving widow Erika Kirk opens up to VP BJ Vance at conservative fundraiser “Anal for America” - Couch was not amused
• Usha Vance has candle in window hoping Erik the Viking dips his wick - Too long the Second Lady has had an icy waistland!
• Jake from Woodlands brings knife to gunfight, Joy Division Tshirt to Britpop concert!
• Lady Rebecca declines Acting Chief Justice offer of footlong Hoagie in favour of 6 inch sub with great diction!
• Doobie Brothers' Michael McDonald responds to Instant Experts' diss of NPR Tiny Desk 'Takin' It To The Streets' performance - "Who??"  
• Amit Khan to make acting return in Bollywood epic “George W’s Bush” - '12th Man' star Aril Mardarfarkar to play Dick Cheney as 84 y.o. child 
• Henry barely survives '93 Melbourne Cup as Honk misses '25 entirely - And yes there’s a woman to blame!
• Far Right Nick Fuentes En Fuego in new seg 'Amit Khan of the Week' - Fear not ladies, he was begging for it!
• Ronald Reagan's corpse declines Treasury Sec Scott Bessent tariff street fight citing pre-agreed Ayahuasca weekend with Henry Lee
• Andrew Cuomo political aspirations focussed on Hornbag County, VA
• Lily Allen ex- David Harbour campaign for Prince Andrew County, VA to focus on 'needs of women and youth' - "I'll take on all comers"
• Family of late Vice President Dick Cheney requests that in lieu of flowers all mourners shoot best friend in face with buckshot at close range 
• In the comedy podcast with all the  latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee! (Tucker Carlson still stuck in Nuremberg, 1938) 

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Produced, mixed, compiled and edited by Junior 

Additional Editing by The Honk. Except in daylight hours

Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe

Confidentiel! Le nouveau password du Musee du Louvre c'est: la vie

Amit Khan appears courtesy of Yueet Maiarz, Phil McCavity Management

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