Buckle up, Beautiful People, because this week on The Final Word we are diving straight into the congressional testimony that absolutely no one expected to read like the opening chapter of a steamy beach‑read. Yes, Jack Smith showed up, showed out, and somehow delivered enough dramatic tension to qualify as the newest entry in the “prosecutorial romance” genre. We have thoughts. Many.

From there, we pivot—gracefully, like the ballerinas we are—into the rhetorical gymnastics surrounding Minnesota’s Somali child‑care fraud controversy. Spoiler: the discourse is doing the absolute most, and we’re here to untangle the mess with our signature blend of receipts and righteous laughter.

Then we turn to the announcement that National Guard troops will be withdrawn from Chicago, Los Angeles, and Portland—because apparently this was always the plan, and definitely not influenced by any Supreme Court decisions. At all. Ever. Meanwhile, a federal judge has ordered continued funding for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, and we’re over here wondering when our long‑promised DOGE‑themed “rebate checks” are supposed to arrive.

And in the category of “backbone and ethics still exist,” at least three artists have canceled their Kennedy Center performances after the building’s name change. Choices were made, and some folks are choosing to keep their integrity intact.

All that plus your emails, your brilliance, and your weekly dose of Frangela‑style truth‑telling.

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