Step Three states: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” We’ll be delving into this step, discussing its essence and sharing personal experiences.







Step Three comes after acknowledging the hope for a saner life (Step Two). This step is about making a definitive choice to turn to a higher power for guidance. It is a decision step, where we decide to let go of control. For many, this step feels like the hardest because it challenges our instinct to manage everything ourselves.







Spencer's Perspective







I see the essence of Step Three as deciding to choose a saner way of life through a power greater than ourselves. Initially, I struggled to understand what turning my will and life over to a higher power meant, especially with my negative preconceived notions of God. However, the concept of a personalized higher power provided me the freedom to move forward without having to accept a predefined image.







Mary’s Perspective







I also had a complex relationship with my higher power, influenced heavily by others’ teachings and fears. Al-Anon’s concept that our understanding of a higher power is personal and flexible was initially puzzling but eventually liberating for me. This flexibility has become one of the most valuable aspects of my recovery journey. It allows us to accept various definitions of a higher power, contributing to our collective wisdom.







What is this decision?







The decision of Step Three is, in part, about letting go of the illusion of control over the uncontrollable. Letting go of the need to control an alcoholic's drinking or any other situation beyond our influence is a significant part of this step.







Spiritual Flexibility







Our program emphasizes that regardless of our religious background, each member can define their higher power in a way that works best for them. This step calls us to commit our worries, dreams, and relationships into the care of that higher power.







Mary recognized that letting go of specific expectations, particularly concerning her marriage, was necessary for actual progress. Acceptance allowed her to experience a transformed relationship without the burden of unrealistic control.







The Path Forward







Even after making the decision, the actual practice of Step Three is an ongoing process. It requires continuous surrender and a readiness to adapt. It's okay to step back and renew this decision repeatedly.







Ultimately, deciding to turn our will and lives over to a higher power places us in much more capable hands. It provides a sense of trust and the realization that even if things don’t go as planned, we will be cared for.







Readings and Links







We read from How Al-Anon Works, pp, 49-51, Chapter 8, The Twelve Steps, the section titled Step 3.







Spencer also mentioned the book Paths to Recovery.







Upcoming topics







We are working our way through the 12 Steps. What has been your experience the steps? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.















Music from the Show











Rihanna – Lift Me Up











Billie Eilish – What Was I Made For?