Love, Limerence, And Cop Outs ft. Olivia O’Brien
Digest
Olivia O'Brien, a musician and recording artist, joins the U of Podcast to discuss her upcoming EP, "Love and Limerence." She explains the concept of "limerence," a term that has gained popularity on TikTok, and how it relates to her music. The conversation delves into Olivia's dating experiences, particularly her preference for casual relationships and her aversion to traditional dating. She shares her perspective on the challenges of being a female songwriter in the public eye, where her personal experiences are often scrutinized and analyzed. Olivia also discusses the double standard that exists when it comes to men and women writing love songs, highlighting how women are often judged more harshly for expressing their emotions. The podcast hosts, Jordana and Jared, offer their own insights on dating and relationships, particularly the phenomenon of men pursuing women intensely before losing interest once they achieve their goal. They also discuss the importance of communication and honesty in relationships, emphasizing the need for both parties to be on the same page about their expectations. The episode concludes with Olivia's advice to a listener who is struggling with a potential relationship that may be jeopardized by her partner's possible move to Europe. Olivia encourages the listener to trust her instincts and not be afraid to take a chance on love, even if it means facing potential heartbreak.
Outlines
Introduction and Guest Introduction
This Chapter introduces the Sunday Special episode of the U of Podcast and welcomes Olivia O'Brien, a musician and recording artist, as a guest. The hosts, Jordana and Jared, express their excitement about having Olivia on the show and mention her upcoming EP, "Love and Limerence."
Limerence and Olivia's Music
This Chapter delves into the concept of "limerence," a term that has gained popularity on TikTok, and how it relates to Olivia's music. Olivia explains that "limerence" is essentially an obsessive and delusional form of infatuation, often characterized by intense feelings that quickly fade. She reveals that her upcoming EP, "Love and Limerence," explores her experiences with romantic love, including both positive and negative aspects.
Olivia's Hit Single and High School Experiences
This Chapter focuses on Olivia's hit single, "Hate You, I Love You," which she wrote at the age of 15. Olivia shares her experiences in high school, where she was often made fun of for her appearance and for writing the song about a specific boy. She discusses the challenges of being vulnerable in high school and the double standard that exists when it comes to men and women writing love songs.
Songwriting and Public Scrutiny
This Chapter explores the challenges of being a female songwriter in the public eye, where Olivia's personal experiences are often scrutinized and analyzed. She discusses the pressure to avoid revealing the identities of those she writes about, as it can lead to unwanted attention and speculation. Olivia also highlights the double standard that exists when it comes to men and women writing love songs, emphasizing how women are often judged more harshly for expressing their emotions.
Olivia's Dating Experiences and Casual Relationships
This Chapter delves into Olivia's dating experiences, particularly her preference for casual relationships and her aversion to traditional dating. She shares her perspective on the challenges of navigating relationships in Los Angeles, where she feels a lack of community and a strong emphasis on social circles. Olivia also discusses her current "situationship" with a guy she met at a party, highlighting the casual nature of their relationship and their mutual desire to avoid commitment.
The Bait and Switch Phenomenon in Dating
This Chapter focuses on the phenomenon of men pursuing women intensely before losing interest once they achieve their goal. The hosts, Jordana and Jared, discuss the common experience of being "wooed" by someone who later becomes distant or uninterested. They also explore the misconception that casual relationships are less demanding or require less effort, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and communication in any type of relationship.
Keywords
Limerence
Limerence is a state of intense infatuation or obsession with another person, often characterized by intrusive thoughts, fantasies, and a desire for reciprocation. It is often described as a feeling of being "in love" with someone, but it is not necessarily based on a realistic assessment of the person or the relationship. Limerence can be a powerful emotion, but it can also be disruptive and even harmful if it becomes obsessive or unhealthy.
Olivia O'Brien
Olivia O'Brien is an American singer, songwriter, and musician. She gained popularity in 2016 with her hit single "Hate You, I Love You," which reached number one on the Billboard Mainstream Top 40 chart. O'Brien has released two EPs, "It's Not That Deep" and "A Few Good Things," and is known for her honest and relatable songwriting, often exploring themes of love, heartbreak, and self-discovery.
EP
EP stands for "extended play." It is a musical recording that is longer than a single but shorter than a full-length album. EPs typically contain 3-7 tracks and are often used by artists to release new material or experiment with different sounds. EPs can be a valuable way for artists to build a following and connect with fans.
TikTok
TikTok is a social media platform where users create and share short videos. It is known for its viral trends, dance challenges, and comedic content. TikTok has become a powerful tool for musicians to promote their music and connect with fans. Many artists have gained significant popularity through TikTok, and the platform has become an important part of the music industry.
Dating
Dating is the process of getting to know someone romantically with the potential of developing a relationship. It can involve a variety of activities, such as going on dates, spending time together, and getting to know each other's personalities and interests. Dating can be a fun and exciting experience, but it can also be challenging and stressful. It is important to be honest and respectful in dating, and to communicate your expectations clearly.
Relationships
Relationships are connections between two or more people, often characterized by mutual affection, trust, and commitment. Relationships can be romantic, platonic, familial, or professional. They can provide support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. Relationships can be challenging, but they can also be incredibly rewarding. It is important to nurture and maintain relationships, and to communicate openly and honestly with those we care about.
Songwriting
Songwriting is the art of creating songs. It involves crafting lyrics, melodies, and harmonies. Songwriters often draw inspiration from their personal experiences, observations, and emotions. Songwriting can be a powerful form of self-expression and can connect with listeners on a deep level. It is a creative process that requires both technical skill and emotional depth.
Los Angeles
Los Angeles is a city in California known for its entertainment industry, beaches, and diverse culture. It is home to Hollywood, where many films and television shows are produced. Los Angeles is also a major center for music, fashion, and technology. The city is known for its fast-paced lifestyle and its competitive nature. It is a popular destination for tourists and residents alike.
New York City
New York City is a city in New York state known for its iconic skyline, diverse neighborhoods, and vibrant cultural scene. It is a global center for finance, fashion, media, and the arts. New York City is also home to some of the world's most famous museums, theaters, and restaurants. The city is known for its fast-paced lifestyle and its energetic atmosphere.
Social Media
Social media refers to online platforms that allow users to create and share content, connect with others, and build communities. Popular social media platforms include Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Social media has become an integral part of modern life, influencing communication, culture, and commerce. It can be a powerful tool for connecting with others, sharing information, and promoting businesses.
Q&A
What is "limerence" and how does it relate to Olivia O'Brien's music?
Limerence is an obsessive and delusional form of infatuation, often characterized by intense feelings that quickly fade. Olivia's upcoming EP, "Love and Limerence," explores her experiences with romantic love, including both positive and negative aspects, and the concept of limerence plays a significant role in her songwriting.
What are Olivia O'Brien's thoughts on dating and relationships?
Olivia prefers casual relationships and avoids traditional dating. She finds it difficult to navigate relationships in Los Angeles due to the lack of community and the emphasis on social circles. She is currently in a "situationship" with a guy she met at a party, highlighting her preference for casual connections.
What are the challenges of being a female songwriter in the public eye?
Olivia discusses the pressure to avoid revealing the identities of those she writes about, as it can lead to unwanted attention and speculation. She also highlights the double standard that exists when it comes to men and women writing love songs, emphasizing how women are often judged more harshly for expressing their emotions.
What is the "bait and switch" phenomenon in dating?
The "bait and switch" phenomenon refers to men who pursue women intensely before losing interest once they achieve their goal. The hosts, Jordana and Jared, discuss the common experience of being "wooed" by someone who later becomes distant or uninterested.
What is the importance of communication and honesty in relationships?
The hosts emphasize the importance of communication and honesty in any type of relationship, particularly when it comes to expectations and desires. They highlight the need for both parties to be on the same page about their intentions and goals.
What advice does Olivia O'Brien give to a listener who is struggling with a potential relationship that may be jeopardized by her partner's possible move to Europe?
Olivia encourages the listener to trust her instincts and not be afraid to take a chance on love, even if it means facing potential heartbreak. She advises the listener to communicate her feelings openly and honestly with her partner and to not be afraid to set boundaries.
What is the misconception that the listener in the email has about her relationship?
The listener believes that she and her partner are in a "wee" stage of their relationship, meaning they are still getting to know each other and haven't reached a point of commitment. Olivia and the hosts challenge this notion, suggesting that the listener should embrace the present moment and not overthink the future.
What is the "put on the beret" move in dating?
The "put on the beret" move refers to a situation where one partner uses a potential life change, such as a job opportunity or a move, as a way to avoid commitment or to end the relationship. The hosts suggest that the listener should be aware of this potential tactic and not be afraid to call out her partner if she suspects he is using it.
What is Olivia O'Brien's advice to the listener about how to handle her partner's potential move to Europe?
Olivia encourages the listener to be open and honest with her partner about her feelings and to not be afraid to set boundaries. She suggests that the listener should not wait for her partner to make a decision about the job opportunity and that she should trust her instincts about the relationship.
What is Olivia O'Brien's perspective on the relationship between her music and her personal experiences?
Olivia believes that her music is a reflection of her emotions and experiences, and that it is a form of therapy for her. She acknowledges that people often try to interpret her songs in relation to specific people or events in her life, but she emphasizes that her music is ultimately about universal human emotions.
Show Notes
J&J are joined by Olivia O’Brien ahead of the release for her upcoming EP, “Love and Limerence,” but before they get started, Jordana and Olivia fill Jared in on what limerence means. Then, Olivia shares the struggles with being vulnerable in her songwriting and dating other public figures, and Jared can relate for why he’s cautious with the real experiences he puts into his work. Plus Olivia shocks J&J with the aftermath of her song with gnash, “i hate u, i love u,” blowing up on the charts in 2016, they talk double standards of women being vulnerable, the difference in LA and NYC social scenes, and why Gen Z might be more open to casual relationships. The episode ends with answering a listener’s email about being on the hook and not knowing whether she should just walk away before she gets hurt. She’s been happily seeing someone for two months, but he’s now up for a job that would take him overseas indefinitely. They have yet to DTR, but she’s certain she doesn’t want to juggle a long-distance situation. Jared, Jordana and Olivia weigh in.
For more from our guest, listen to “Love and Limerence” by Olivia O’Brien (@oliviaobrien) on June 21.
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