Maggie Smith is a poet & writer who found overnight fame when her poem, ‘Good Bones’, went viral on social media in 2016. Later on, her life was to take a further change when her husband of 19 years, and the father of her children, announced he wanted a divorce two years later. Her memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, published in April 2023 – explores the connection between these two events, how become a hit writer led to the breakdown of her marriage – and what could be found in the disruption that followed it all. Throughout it all, Maggie’s love of creativity and solitude has been a constant – something she speaks to me about in this episode. We also talk about finding love in middle age, and the joy of a relationship that’s free from the pressure of milestones.

Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device.

Takeaways

• Alone time can be a positive and restorative experience, especially for creative individuals.
• Being in a relationship that is not working can be lonelier than being alone.
• Financial independence and self-sufficiency are important for personal empowerment.
• There is freedom in choosing a relationship without merging lives and milestones.
• Alone time is essential for creativity and self-reflection.

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Small Talk

03:33

Exploring the Meaning of Alone

04:27

Aloneness as a Positive and Restorative Experience

05:24

The Irony of Being an Introverted Writer

06:24

The Challenges of Being an Introverted Writer in the Public Eye

08:15

Navigating Life After Divorce

09:43

The Loneliness of Incompatible Partnership

10:41

Living Alone vs. Living Without a Partner

11:36

The Myth of Partnership Solving Loneliness

13:29

The Shift in Attitudes Towards Being Alone

14:52

The Impact of Age on Relationship Choices

16:13

The Pressure to Settle Down and Have Children

17:32

Financial Independence and Self-Sufficiency

18:45

The Liberation of Not Racing Through Relationship Milestones

19:58

The Freedom of Choosing a Relationship Without Merging Lives

21:20

Balancing Independence and Vulnerability

22:48

The Lack of Cultural Models for Non-Traditional Relationships

23:44

The Beauty of Constant Companionship

24:43

The Negative Side of Hyper-Independence

25:39

The Importance of Alone Time for Creativity

27:29

Learning to Accept Help and Support

28:54

Returning to a Special Place for Solitude

31:43

The Restorative Power of Writing Alone

33:09

The Impact of Professional Success on Relationships

35:31

The Evolution of Creativity After Having Children

39:21

The Joy of Having Unstructured Alone Time

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