The Dark Ages: Rome has fallen, the Church won't shut the fuck up, there's a killer plague for every season, and everyone else is dying of BOREDOM.

Right? WRONG.

Western Europe may have been a shitshow for much of what we ridiculously call the "Dark Ages," but the rest of the world had its act together.

Specifically: Baghdad around the 800s AD. At the height of the Golden Age of Islam. They had libraries, they had mathematics, and...they had lesbian sex scientists.

This week we’re taking a tantalizing dip into the Golden Age of Islam to uncover a treasure trove archive of lesbionic women from medieval Arabia.

Muslim philosophers and physicians had actual words for lesbians (or lesbian-like women), entire books about famous lesbian couples, and specific manuals that explained how to vigorously rub one out with your beloved.

From labia gas to celery-and-rocket shakes, the science was...shaky, at best. But the spirit of inquiry was strong, and the genuine respect for lesbian love profound.

Tune in to explore:

• Why doctors thought the only sensible treatment for lesbianism was – get this! – lesbian sex
• A 13th-century Kama Sutra-style manual that coined the “saffron massage” (and came with a guide to lesbian sound effects)
• The interfaith power couple Hind Bint al-Nu'man and al-Zarqāʾ, whose legendary love story inspired queer and heterosexual writers for centuries to come
• The lost books of lesbian couples with names like Basil and Clove and Justice and Happiness (welcome, ladies, to the queer Muslim SPICE RACK)
• How medieval lesbian communities were rumoured to hold meetings and sex ed classes, because like all good homosexuals, they got organized.

🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Willow oil and saffron grinder sold separately.

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.