Insecurities with my new body, stretch marks.

Needing to learn to love myself.

Crying over milk.

Dear Pumping Mama,

https://www.crystalkarges.com/blog/to-the-mama-who-is-pumping-to-feed-her-baby

Dear
Pumping Mama,

It’s lunch time, but you are cramped in a closet-sized
room, tapping your foot to the methodical hum of your breast pump.

Just like days before, your moments are defined by
washing bottles and pump parts, by measuring your productivity against ounces
of liquid gold that fill the containers you’ll bring home at the end of the
day.

It’s the juxtaposition of being in two places at once:
the reminder of the baby you’re nurturing while not being physically there to
let her feed from you. You go through the motions of your day while
simultaneously counting down the time until you are reunited.

In the absence of baby cries and soft snuggles, you’re
met with the chugging and churning of a pump. A pump with which you have a
love-hate relationship; a device that makes you cringe every time you attach
the cold flanges to your body while also grateful you have a way you can still
get your baby the milk your body has worked so hard to produce.

You may feel devastated that you’ve been away from your
baby for what seems like forever, or frustrated that you’re attached to a
machine instead of connected to your little one.

But you don’t give up or stop pumping. You are determined
to keep going, to get your baby what your body is making to help her thrive.

I know you’re tired, mama.

I see you pumping late in the night after everyone has
gone to sleep and early in the morning before you head out for the day. You’re
cramming in pumping sessions between meetings, in your car, in the bathroom -
anywhere you can possibly manage to keep up with your breastmilk supply.

In those moments of weariness, don’t forget this:  

You are doing a good job, mama.

All of this: the bottle-washing, pump-cleaning, stress
and tears over spilled milk, preparing and packing bottles...all of it is not
done in vain.

From your sacrifice, the seeds of life are sown and
watered as your baby thrives from this tangible expression of love.

So whether you are pumping to increase your milk supply or simply
to provide nourishment to your sweet baby in your absence, you are giving life.

You are doing the best you can for your baby by providing
her with care and sustenance, and that love and selfless devotion day after day
is what makes you a good mama.

One day, you’ll be able to pack up that pump and put it
away on the shelf. You’ll prepare that last bottle and turn off the alarms on
your phone that remind you to pump. That day will come soon.

Until then, be encouraged in the daily grind of pumping to feed your
baby. In the selfless acts of love that you give day after day, the thankless
job of being mama and feeding your baby in the best way you know how. In this
season of life as a pumping mom - you’ve got this.