Non-Monogamy & The Law: Jonathan Lane on Custody, Contracts & Protecting Non-Traditional Families

Update: 2025-09-28

Description

Family law gets real when you're living outside the box of traditional monogamy. In this episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we sit down with Maryland/DC attorney Jonathan Lane, a polyamorous lawyer who specializes in ethical non-monogamy, custody battles, divorce, inheritance, and family protections.

Jonathan breaks down everything ENM and polyamorous families need to know about child custody risks, de facto parent status, divorce disputes, property ownership, wills, medical directives, employment discrimination, and how judges actually view non-traditional families in court.

Whether you're a swinger, poly, or exploring ENM, this is one of those conversations that could protect your kids, your partners, and your lifestyle. If you've ever worried about being "outed" in court, losing custody, or what happens if your throuple breaks up—this episode is packed with answers.

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In this week's episode, we're diving deep into the legal side of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and swinging with Jonathan Lane, a Maryland/DC attorney who is out as poly himself and dedicated to protecting non-traditional families in the courtroom.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

⚖️ Custody & Courts — How judges view ENM parents, the "best interest of the child" standard, and why outcomes often depend on your county.
👩‍👩‍👧 De Facto Parent Status — What it means, how it protects non-bio/non-adoptive parents, and the strict criteria involved.
💔 Divorce & Breakups — Why written agreements, even texts, matter when disputes over cheating or swinging arise.
🏡 Property, Inheritance & Wills — How throuples/quads can own property together, protect assets, and secure inheritance rights.
🏥 Medical Directives & Power of Attorney — Why ENM partners should set these up before emergencies.
👩‍⚖️ Employment Discrimination — Why "at will" jobs can be risky, and where (Cambridge, Somerville, Berkeley, Oakland) ENM is starting to see protections.
🌎 Cultural Shifts — How awareness and acceptance of non-monogamy are growing nationwide, even if the laws are still catching up.

Jonathan also shares stories from real cases where polyamory and kink showed up in court, from custody battles to divorce disputes—and what lessons we can all take from them.