I am often too quiet to speak up in front of strangers when I am sitting in front of them. During company meetings with senior management and various stakeholders, many coworkers dial into the virtual call. The director would frequently ask everyone if they had any questions by the end of the meeting. The majority of the time, everyone falls silent. Even in a physically friendly gathering, the situation will not improve, as the boss will dominate the conversation, telling us all of his anecdotes without anybody daring to interrupt him. As a leader, I sometimes have to speak up rather than remain silent, but words are difficult to come by. If a government official said something that displeased the Emperor in ancient China, customarily, the Emperor immediately ordered the guards to execute him, as well as his family. As a result, we must exercise caution when speaking inside a social hierarchy and respect authority. This mentality is unsuitable for a startup since feedback is necessary to assist top management in making the best decisions. I won't be a better leader around strangers if I'm too quiet and nice.

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This is a chapter of my book: The Dilemmas of Life: How to overcome the dilemmas and live a better life

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