DiscoverDinner Table Debates Daily Deep DivePHILOSOPHY: It is ok to keep secrets.
PHILOSOPHY: It is ok to keep secrets.

PHILOSOPHY: It is ok to keep secrets.

Update: 2024-11-07
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You work for a large corporation and discover that they've been hiding dangerous safety issues in one of their products. You're living paycheck to paycheck, and if you blow the whistle, you could lose your job which would mean you couldn’t afford to support yourself anymore. But if you do stay quiet, innocent people could get hurt—or worse. Do you risk everything to expose the truth, or do you keep the secret to protect your livelihood? Secrets can be powerful, and the decision to keep or reveal them can come with serious consequences.

"Welcome to your Dinner Table Debates Daily Deep Dive, where we explore real topics from our decks and give you everything you need to debate, in under 10 minutes. Today's topic is 'It is ok to keep secrets' and it comes from the Philosophy Category in our Full Size Essentials Collection deck. Let's dig in."

Philosophers throughout history have grappled with the morality of secrecy. Aristotle emphasized the virtue of honesty but also recognized the value of discretion, hinting that not all truths must be shared. Sissela Bok, in her work Secrets: On the Ethics of Concealment and Revelation, argued that secrecy can be both necessary and harmful, depending on its use. She emphasized that while secrets can protect privacy, they can also be a source of manipulation and deception.

Meanwhile, philosopher Michel Foucault examined how power dynamics are often tied to secrecy. He suggested that those in control frequently conceal information to maintain power, and that secrecy can be a tool of oppression. On the other side, Confucius highlighted the importance of discretion in personal relationships, advising that not all truths are meant to be shared and that maintaining harmony sometimes means keeping things to oneself.

Even historical figures like Benjamin Franklin weighed in, famously stating, "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead," emphasizing the inherent difficulty and risks in keeping secrets over time. The decision to withhold or disclose information has always been a balancing act between protecting individuals and upholding moral responsibility.

Secrets are a part of our daily lives, from personal confessions to confidential information at work. They can protect people, maintain relationships, or sometimes lead to deceit and harm. Understanding when it's okay to keep secrets affects our relationships, our work environments, and even our societal structures. This topic matters because it touches on trust, morality, and our sense of responsibility to ourselves and others.

Agree – It’s Okay to Keep SecretsDisagree – It’s Not Okay to Keep SecretsProtection of Privacy: Keeping secrets can be a way to protect one's privacy or the privacy of others. People have a right to their personal thoughts and experiences. Sharing everything with everyone can lead to vulnerability and loss of individuality. For instance, sharing personal health issues or family matters might expose someone to unnecessary judgment or harm.Betrayal of Trust: Keeping secrets can lead to a betrayal of trust. When secrets come to light, especially those that involve deception or dishonesty, it can damage relationships. For example, if someone discovers that a friend has kept a major secret from them, it could lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment, harming the relationship.Preservation of Relationships: Sometimes, keeping a secret can help maintain the peace or stability of a relationship. Imagine knowing about a surprise party for a friend—revealing it could spoil the joy. In more serious cases, keeping a secret might prevent unnecessary conflict. For example, withholding a small, inconsequential truth that would only cause hurt feelings without any benefit to the other party.Moral Responsibility: There are instances where keeping a secret might prevent justice or allow harm to continue. For instance, knowing about illegal activities or harmful behavior and choosing to keep it a secret could make you complicit. Whistleblower scenarios often revolve around this moral dilemma—should you keep quiet and protect your job, or speak out and risk everything for the greater good?Social Harmony: In many cultures, discretion is valued as a way to maintain social harmony. In a work environment, for example, knowing sensitive information about a colleague or company strategy and keeping it confidential can prevent workplace tension or competitive sabotage. It aligns with the idea that not every truth needs to be shared publicly.Psychological Burden: Secrets can be mentally and emotionally draining. Carrying a heavy secret can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. Studies in social science suggest that secret-keeping is correlated with lower well-being and health. The mental energy spent on hiding or maintaining a secret can also affect one's overall performance and happiness.
  • Rebuttal to Agree Point: While maintaining privacy is important, transparency can also foster trust. If too many secrets are kept, especially in relationships, it can create a barrier and prevent true intimacy and understanding.


  • Rebuttal to Disagree Point: Although keeping certain secrets might seem like a betrayal of trust, revealing every truth without considering the context and the people involved could cause more harm than good. It’s about balancing honesty with compassion.

Secrets are a complex part of human interaction. While they can protect privacy, preserve relationships, and maintain social harmony, they can also betray trust, create moral dilemmas, and burden us psychologically. The decision to keep or reveal a secret isn't always black and white; it often depends on the context, the individuals involved, and the potential outcomes. Understanding this complexity is crucial in navigating our personal and professional lives.

Curious to dive deeper into this topic? When playing Dinner Table Debates at home, the Agree side has the power to set the terms and shape the discussion. This means they define the context and interpretation, leading to a fresh and engaging debate every time. If you’re discussing “It is okay to keep secrets,” here are a few different ways Agree might frame the conversation:

  • It is okay to keep secrets regardless of cultural norms: Do cultural differences affect how we view the acceptability of keeping secrets? How do various cultures balance secrecy with honesty, and what does this reveal about their values related to truth?


  • It is okay to keep secrets in professional settings where confidentiality is crucial: Are there ethical boundaries to keeping secrets in professions like therapy or journalism? How do confidentiality agreements impact trust and professional integrity, and should there be exceptions to these rules?


  • It is okay for governments to keep secrets from their citizens: Should governments be allowed to withhold certain information from the public, and if so, to what extent? What are the implications for democracy and transparency when governments keep secrets, and how should they balance national security with the public’s right to know?

By exploring these angles, you’ll uncover various facets of the debate, sparking thoughtful and engaging discussions.

"If you enjoyed our deep dive, you can debate this topic and many others by getting your own Dinner Table Debates deck at DinnerTableDebates.com. It's a unique game because every round starts with randomly assigning agree or disagree, then you pick the topic, meaning that you might be debating for something you disagree with or vice versa. But that's the point! Stretch your brain, gain clarity, improve critical thinking and empathy, and have fun doing it! You can also join the debate on our Instagram and TikTok account. Get ready for some thought-provoking discussions that will challenge your assumptions and broaden your understanding of the world around you! Happy debating and remember, everyone is always welcome at the table."

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PHILOSOPHY: It is ok to keep secrets.

PHILOSOPHY: It is ok to keep secrets.

Dinner Table Debates