Parashat Ki Tabo- Gratitude Starts at Home
Update: 2025-09-11
Description
Parashat Ki-Tabo begins with the Misva of Bikkkurim – the obligation upon a farmer to bring the first fruits that ripen to the Bet Ha'mikdash and present them to a Kohen. The farmer then makes a special declaration praising and expressing gratitude to Hashem for bringing our nation out of Egypt into the Land of Israel, where he was able to till the land and produce delicious, nourishing fruit. The unique significance and importance of this Misva is expressed in the special fanfare that characterized the process of bringing Bikkurim. The farmers would assemble and march with song and festivity through the roads, and the shopkeepers in Jerusalem would close their stores and come out to welcome and celebrate the visitors who were bringing their fruits to the Bet Ha'mikdash. The importance of Bikkurim is also articulated by the Midrash, which teaches that this Misva is mentioned in the very first word of the Torah: "Bereshit." The Midrash interprets this word to mean that the world was created for the sake of Bikkurim, which is called "Reshit" ("Reshit Bikkureh Admatecha" – "the first of the fruits of your land that ripen" – Shemot 23:19 ). Remarkably, the Midrash is telling us that the entire world was created so we can fulfill the Misva of Bikkurim! The reason is that G-d created the world so that He could shower us with goodness which we would then appreciate and be grateful for. The most elementary of all Torah values is gratitude, acknowledging and appreciating what was done for us. Hence, the Misva of Bikkurim, which revolves around the concept of gratitude, thanking Hashem for providing us with food, can be seen as the purpose of all creation. Our Sages teach that gratitude toward Hashem begins with feeling and showing appreciation for other people. The Midrash states: "Whoever denies his fellow's goodness will ultimately deny the Almighty's goodness." The classic example demonstrating this principle is Pharaoh, who is said to have "not known Yosef" (Shemot 1:8). It is inconceivable, the Rabbis explain, that a king who ascended the throne soon after Yosef's lifetime had not heard of Yosef. He was the one who saved Egypt from the devastating famine that struck the rest of the region, and thereby enriched the kingdom, as all the surrounding peoples came to purchase grain which Yosef had stored in anticipation of the looming drought. Rather, this means that the new Pharaoh did not acknowledge Yosef's role in saving the kingdom and bringing it to great heights of wealth and prestige. Because Pharaoh denied all the good that Yosef brought to the kingdom, he ultimately denied G-d Himself, brazenly and outrageously telling Moshe many years later, "Lo Yadati Et Hashem" – "I do not know G-d!" (Shemot 5:2). Translating this message into practical terms – one cannot be considered "religious" if he recites Birkat Ha'mazon after every meal with intense concentration, thanking Hashem for his food, and says "Modim" in the Amida prayer three times a day with great emotion, expressing gratitude to Hashem for all He does – but he does not show gratitude to the people in his life. Gratitude begins at home, with the people who do the most for us – first and foremost our parents, who gave us life and exerted so much hard work and made so many sacrifices for us, and then our spouse, the one closest to us, with whom we build and run our families. If we are not grateful to them and to everyone who helps us and does things for us, we will ultimately feel ungrateful also toward G-d. And, yes, this applies also to those who are paid to do things for us. Many years ago, I was hired as a private tutor for a teenage boy in the community. While we were learning, he called the family's housekeeper on the intercom system, and told her to bring him soda and some snacks. I was startled by the way he spoke, not even using the word "please." She came a minute later with the soda and snacks, and he said, "Close the door on your way out." I turned to the boy and asked, "You don't say 'thank you'??" "Rabbi," the boy replied, "she works for us. We're paying her to do this." "Now you're making me very nervous," I said. "Why?" "Because I also work for you. Your parents pay me, too. Are you going to treat me that way because I'm getting paid?" Whether it's the secretary, the cashier, the uber driver, the coworker, the delivery guy – feeling and expressing gratitude is not just required, but it is the ABC's of the Torah, our most basic obligation as Jews and as human beings. The more we appreciate all the people in our lives and all that they do for us, the more we will appreciate all that Hashem does for us – and this will, in turn, make us worthy of even more of His unlimited blessings and goodness.
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