95% of people say that they’re self-aware. But only 10-15% of people actually are. As my guest today says, that means “on a good day, 80% of us are lying to ourselves about how much we’re lying to ourselves” and this blind spot can have big repercussions for our success and happiness. 

Her name is Tasha Eurich, and she’s an organizational psychologist and the author of Insight: Why We’re Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life. Tasha kicks off our conversation by arguing that our level of self-awareness sets the upper limit of our individual effectiveness and that self-awareness can be developed and is truly the meta skill of the 21st century. She then unpacks what it is you know about yourself when you possess self-awareness, how there are two types of this knowledge, internal and external, and how you can have one without the other. Tasha then outlines the seven pillars of self-awareness, the barriers to getting insights into them —  including falling into the cult of self — and how these barriers can be overcome, including asking yourself a daily check-in question. We then discuss how two of the most common methods for gaining self-knowledge — introspection and journaling — can in fact backfire and how to do them more effectively by asking yourself what instead of why, and actually journaling less instead of more. We also get into why you should be an in-former, rather than a me-former on social media, how to become more mindful without meditation, and how to solicit and handle feedback from other people, including holding something called the “Dinner of Truth.”

Tasha is offering a discount on her new course, The Future Ready Leader, when you use this link.

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Show Highlights

• Why is self-awareness the “meta-skill” of the 21st century?


• The two crucial prongs of self-awareness


• Introspecters vs. Pleasers


• The 7 pillars of insight


• The value of a daily check-in  


• Biases that are working against us 


• Our culture’s cult of self 


• Why introspection often fails 


• What, Not, Why 


• Is journaling overrated?


• How and why self-aware people spend more time on social media


• Boosting your internal self-awareness


• Mindfulness without meditation 


• How to get better at soliciting and accepting feedback


• Handling unsolicited feedback 


• The Dinner of Truth 


• Developing the holistic picture of self-awareness

Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast

• The Science of Insights


• How to Get More “Aha” Insights


• Define Your Core Values


• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People


• You Need a Reset Day


• Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life


• Why I Stopped Journaling


• 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out


• How to Get Better at Taking Feedback


• Insight Quiz

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Tasha on Twitter

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Read the Transcript

Brett McKay: Brett McKay here, and welcome to another edition of The Art of Manliness podcast. 95% of people say that they’re self-aware but only 10 to 15% of people actually are. As my guest today says, that means on a good day, 80% of us are lying to ourselves, but how much we’re lying to ourselves, and this blind spot can have big repercussions for our success and happiness.

Her name is Tasha Eurich, she’s an organizational psychologist and the author of, Insight: Why We’re Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life. Tasha kicks off her conversation by arguing that our level of self-awareness sets the upper limit of our individual effectiveness, and that self-awareness can be developed and is truly the meta-skill of the 21st century. She then impacts what it is you know about yourself when you possess self-awareness.

Now there are two types of this knowledge, internal and external, and how you can have one without the other. Tasha then outlines the seven pillars of self-awareness, the barriers to getting insights into them, including falling into the cult of self and how these barriers can be overcome, including asking yourself a daily checking question.

We then discuss how two of the most common methods of gaining self-knowledge, introspection, journaling can in fact backfire, how to do them more effectively by asking yourself what instead of why, and actually journaling less instead of more. We also get into why you should be an informer rather than a me-former social medium, how to become more mindful without meditation and how to solicit and handle feedback from other people, including holding something called a “dinner of truth”. After the show’s over, check at our show notes at aom.is/self-awareness.

Alright, Tasha Eurich, welcome to the show.

Tasha Eurich: Thanks for having me.

Brett McKay: So you are the author of a book, you’re a consultant, psychologist and authored this book called, Insight: It’s All About Developing Self-awareness. Let’s talk about your background. How did you end up focusing your career and consulting on helping leaders and just everyone develop more self-awareness?

Tasha Eurich: So I’ve been an organizational psychologist for more than 15 years, but before that, I was the daughter of an entrepreneur. I’m actually a third generation entrep