S3 E2  Dr. Michael Ross

This episode of Cocktails with Friends dives deep into modern fatherhood with Dr. Michael Ross, a pediatrician and longtime friend of host Bob Cutler. The two explore the evolving role of dads, not as know-it-alls, but as coaches learning alongside their kids. From navigating healthcare and screen time to managing interests and emotions, Bob and Mike reflect on lessons they've learned and how they're still figuring it out—sometimes over whiskey.

Key Topics

1. Coaching vs. Commanding in Parenting

Dr. Mike Ross frames parenting as a form of coaching—rooted not in authority, but in experience, patience, and shared discovery. Rather than issuing commands, he emphasizes offering guidance, listening, and allowing children to make choices and mistakes. This approach fosters trust, resilience, and emotional maturity, helping kids become more independent and self-aware over time.

2. Encouraging Individuality in Children

The conversation highlights how important it is for parents to let kids follow their own paths—even when those paths differ dramatically from parental passions. Dr. Ross shares how one of his children embraced theater while the other became a competitive bodybuilder, pushing him to recognize and celebrate individuality. Supporting kids as they explore different identities helps them feel seen, accepted, and empowered to pursue their own dreams.

3. Resilience Through Participation and Setbacks

Bob and Mike discuss the importance of letting kids follow through on commitments—even when they're struggling or disinterested. Whether it's seeing a sports season through to the end or dusting off after a fall, children build confidence and resilience by learning that setbacks are part of growth. Rather than rushing to fix things, parents can teach grit by standing back and supporting their kids' efforts to recover and try again.

Episode Index

(2:43 ) Parenting as coaching: Dr. Ross explains that parenting isn't about control, it's about experience-based guidance and mutual learning.

(5:06 ) Supporting individual interests: Mike discusses how his sons' very different passions—music vs. bodybuilding—shaped his understanding of support without pressure.

(10:03 ) Weather and screen time: The two reflect on the challenge of keeping kids engaged outdoors in Maine's long winters while balancing healthy screen use.

(20:14 ) Handling injuries: Mike emphasizes the importance of modeling calm behavior when children get hurt, allowing them to build resilience.

(23:21 ) Ask for help: Bob closes with a reminder that fathers should lean on their community and fellow dads for guidance, resources, and encouragement.