Stassi and C-O-Lo kick things off with birthday shoutouts for the December Saggies and immediately get into zodiac talk—Stassi swears she’s a Capricorn, Lo insists she’s 100 percent Cancer. Then it's Stassi’s first spray tan since Sports Illustrated: she asked zero questions, slept in it anyway, and now her hands are a few shades darker than her face. Lo’s cruise-ship documentary binge somehow leads them into James Cameron manipulating Leo DiCaprio into Titanic, Stassi’s disaster-movie era, their favorite easy holiday watches, and a full-blown debate about what Kris Jenner’s daily routine actually looks like.

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