The self management component of emotional intelligence is the working on our behavior now that we are more aware of who we are, and most often times it is in the waiting on something - a response, a report, a finished project, in the moment of thinking through possible responses to what is happening, or a connection we so desperately want. Where the trust we learned in infancy plays a large role in how we perceive ourselves, the practice we had in toddler and preschool years plays a large roll in how we manage ourselves. This is where we see the benefits of those effective and developmentally appropriate "time-outs" and getting opportunities to "try again." As adults, pausing, deep breaths, and redirecting our thoughts are some of the skills needed as we master this art with finesse. Some would say this is the most difficult aspect of Emotional Intelligence.

Recommended reading for this episode:

The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

the-four-tendencies