*This post contains affiliate links. If you decide to purchase a linked item, I will receive a portion of the sales to help fund NRJ! Thanks for the support *

Too busy to read? Let me read it to ya! Listen below.

We all have them in our lives– energy drainers. Whether it’s a friend that constantly does the cha-cha slide all over your boundaries. A parent that is hell-bent on pointing out every flaw. Or a coworker that loves dumping their trauma on you before you’ve even had a freaking cup of coffee. All of us, at some point or another, have to deal with energy depleters.

Me? Oh, honey, I’ve had to deal with them my entire life. You see, God has blessed me with two significant gifts. Gift number one? I’m a really good listener. Gift number two– I am super sensitive and can feel on a deeply profound level what other people are going through. Some call me an empath; I call it, “Why the hell do I have to feel everything so damn much?”

Now those gifts sound fine and dandy, right? Well, yeah, until you add the fact that I am a (recovering) people-pleaser with loose boundaries and a tendency to attract energy vampires. See? Ain’t so cute now. 

Related: How To Make New Friends As A Grown As Woman

I’ve always been a magnet for energy vampires. You know, people that love to dump on you, monopolize your time, demand your attention, and manipulate your emotional well being. Before therapy, I thought that was my lot in life. I thought I was supposed to let people and certain situations drain the living daylights out of me. Until I started learning that that’s not the case at all. I allowed people to take from me energetically because it was my way of fitting in, not making a fuss, being needed, and wanted. Basically a hot ass mess! 

You know how they say a lesson will keep showing up in your life until you actually learn it? Well, that was me this year. I had been trying but failing miserably at protecting my energy, setting boundaries, and unlearning my people-pleasing ways, that is until the pandemic hit. 

The pandemic made me stop playing and get serious about protecting my energy. Whether it was unplugging from social media, detoxing from the news, exiting toxic conversations, and ending one-sided relationships. 2020 made me release the people, places, and things that exhausted me emotionally. So how did I do it? Well, here are six simple things I did to protect my energy and peace of mind these past few months. 

I Stopped Answering The Phone Just Because It Rang

I used to be Johnny on the spot when it came to my phone. If it rang, chimed, or vibrated, I was there to answer it immediately. Not anymore! I realized that being accessible to everybody and their momma all the time was a complete energy drainer. So now my notifications are off. My phone is on DND most of the day, and I get to choose when I want to chat, dm, text, or email someone. My phone doesn’t control me anymore.

I’m Learning Not To Take Things Personally

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning this year is that everyone is battling their own demons. So the backhanded compliments, the snide remarks, and the manipulative behavior result from some sort of trauma/issue they’re dealing with. Their behavior is not at all my fault nor responsibility. When someone is coming at me sideways, I remind myself that it has nothing to do with me. I am not responsible for their foolishness, so I won’t engage. Ain’t no arguing or clapping back, because they’re fighting stuff that ain’t got ish to do with me. Once I adopted this mindset, my energy levels stayed on high. 

I Carve Out Time To Spend Time With Myself + Be Quiet

My mornings are so sacred to me. Before I get the day going, I sneak out of bed and spend some time solo dolo. I might have a guided meditation session or read my Bible and devotional. Some mornings I might read a few chapters from a book, pray, or journal. Whatever I do, I just make sure that I spend some time alone to reconnect with myself because it really helps set the tone for the rest of